“I’m not asking you to wait!” I cried out, tears welling up in my eyes. “I’ve told you before that I don’t need you to wait for me. So what if I’m not happy about this arrangement? Time is the best medicine, isn’t it? I pushed you to Rachel because I don’t want you pestering and upsetting me when I’m with someone else in the future. Is that so wrong?”
I paused to wipe my tears away as Ashton remained silent. “Once we each have found a better partner for ourselves, it’d be best to stay out of each other’s lives. You know it wasn’t me who made the call, and I never wanted you there either. I’m willing to compensate for having puked on you, but do you have to slap me with a whopping two hundred thousand fee? You said I’d get half of your assets if we got a divorce. I’m letting you know now that I want nothing from the Fullers. I’ve also gotten my lawyer to transfer HiTech’s ownership to you. From here on, we’ll have nothing to do with each other. I’ll pay for your suit, but not for the emotional damages you claim to have.”
With that said, I angrily pushed Ashton away. I wrapped myself with the towel he had tossed aside and made a beeline for the door. I don’t care if anyone sees me like this. The body is just a shell. To hell with anyone who dares criticize me.
I had only taken a few steps toward the door when Ashton grabbed me and pushed me onto the bed. I could see the fury in his eyes as his pent-up anger and frustration burst forth.
The more I struggled, the more Ashton held me down. “You’re wrong if you think I’m someone who will come and go as you wish. Stop messing around and tell me exactly what you want me to do. Or do you think you’re the only one for me?”
I bit my lips in fear, cold beads of sweat rolling down my face. “Ashton, you b*stard!”
“I’m a b*stard?” he growled. “Tell me what it means to be husband and wife. You left me without a word and kept pushing me to other women. Every time we speak, you say you want to sever all ties with me. Scarlett, do our marriage certificates mean nothing to you?”
That was the last straw for me. “Ashton Fuller, I’m going to sue you.”
I was in so much pain from being pinned down by Ashton, and my head was still hurting from the alcohol. All the emotions that had been bubbling inside of me had finally surfaced. I couldn’t help but burst into tears.
My voice was hoarse and quivering as I continued, “Just tell me if you want to destroy me. You are Ashton Fuller, and you can easily get any woman you want. You’re only mad at me because I was the one who pushed you away. If I became obsessed with you as Rebecca did, you’d have tossed me aside like an old rag. You just refuse to accept the fact that I’ve rejected you.”
Every word I said was like a stab to my heart, and I sobbed even harder.
Ashton suddenly let go of me. He looked me in my eyes as he asked softly, “So, in your opinion, everything that I’ve done to get close to you is because I’m unable to accept your rejection?”
I could see the hurt in his eyes as he said that. Unwilling to look at him again, I lowered my head.
Ashton brought my chin up to meet his steely gaze. “Why are you hiding? There’s no need to be afraid. Just be honest with me.”
When I didn’t reply, he chuckled. “What? Feeling guilty already?”
I was so close to a complete breakdown. “Ashton, what on earth do you want with me? Don’t you know the reason I’m pushing you away? It’s your fault that I’m unable to bear any children now. Like any other girl, I just want to feel my parents’ love. I’ve always envied other girls for being able to ride on their fathers’ shoulders, but you’ve ruined all the expectations I have of my parents. Are these reasons not good enough for you?”
Seeing how stunned he was, I added, “Yes, I love you, but so what? I could have given us children, but because of your selfishness, I went to hell and back. Not only did I lose a child, but I also can never be a mother again. And to make things worse, I can’t ever look my biological parents in their eyes because you’ve turned us into enemies. Are these not reasons for me to push you away?”
Ashton merely continued to look at me, his eyes so cold and hard.
I laughed bitterly. “You think that as long as we have mutual love and understanding, we can go back to what it was like and once again be the couple that everyone envies. But Ashton, ask yourself truthfully, can we really move on from the past? Because I know I can’t.”
In my defence, I had tried my best to forget everything that had happened to me. I once thought that maybe if I had a child again, I’d be able to bury the past.
Alas, destiny played a cruel joke on me. I could no longer bear any children, and I also had to be constantly reminded of the child I lost. My past would haunt me forever.
After all, I’m a mere human, not an animal. Sighing to myself at the thought, I knew I would always have memories that continue to torment me. Each time I saw a mother with her child, the memory would come back and rip me apart. I could no longer love Ashton the way I did because the more he stayed in my life, the more I hated him.
