At the villa, Emery walked down the stairs with a wool sweater and draped it over me. With a slight frown, she said, “In order to let go of the past, one has to be willing to endure the pain that comes with it. Scarlett, come in with me. The only thing you have to do is to accept everyone’s apologies graciously.”
I pursed my lips and looked at Ashton, well aware that things started to go wrong when he hid the DNA report which resulted in the switch in places between Rebecca and I.
That was also the beginning of all the pain and suffering.
Cameron looked at me. Her voice choked up as she said, “My dear, stop torturing yourself. We should be the ones bearing the consequences for our own wrongdoings.”
After she said that, she removed her coat, socks and shoes and stepped onto the snow-covered path. With the cold wind blowing against her face, each step she took seemed extremely difficult.
Zachary was heartbroken seeing his wife doing that but did not attempt to talk her out of it.
Even though I was not able to describe my feelings being in such a situation, I knew it wasn’t anything pleasant.
Everyone was punishing themselves in their own ways, willingly bearing the consequences for their actions. It seemed like it was time for me to move on as well.
“What are all of you doing?” I spoke calmly. Looking at Ashton, who was trembling from the cold, I let out a dry laugh and said, “You know how much I love you and would never want to see you suffer or get hurt. Why did you still do that? You should have just let me bury the pain deep inside my heart and not dig it up ever again. Do you know how unbearable the pain is for me? What are you expecting from me torturing yourself like this? Am I supposed to stop you from doing that and tell you it’s OK and that I forgive you with tears streaming down my face? Do you want me to tell you that I forgive you for changing my life, for inadvertently causing the death of our child and for everything you’ve done? Ashton, do you think I’m a saint who can forgive and forget all the hurt you and everyone else caused me?”
Actually, we didn’t have to come to this point. If I had a choice, I wouldn’t mention all those so that I could pretend nothing ever happened. I guess I would have been able to carry on with the love and care he was showering me with.
“Ashton, why did you have to revisit my wounds and even dig your nails into them?”
I could see his pale lips quivering. He opened his mouth but was unable to say a single word.
Then, he lowered his head and let out a self-deprecating laugh. With a grimace, he said, “Sorry, I wasn’t thoughtful enough.”
Trying my best to suppress my feelings, which was a mixture of heartache and fury, I said, “Ashton, what do you want me to do now? What do you want from the Moore family? Do you expect people to get over it and continue to get along like before?”
Yup, I was not able to let go of the pain. But by doing so, I would only continue hurting.
That was not what I knew atonement to be.
Looking at Cameron, who was still standing in the snow, I was at a loss for words. “Do you know what you’re doing right now? Are you trying to gain sympathy and expecting me to tell you that I’m not mad at you anymore and no longer blame you? Please, don’t torture yourself this way. What’s done has already been done. Even if you would like to be punished, this isn’t the way to do it. What’s your objective for doing all these? Is it to tell the whole world that by using your pity tactics, I’m forced to forgive all of you? And if I don’t, it would show that I’m petty and merciless as knowing that all of you might die from the cold, I’m still not willing to budge. Are you guys trying to announce to the world that I am heartless?”
“Scarlett!” Cameron’s face was drained of color after I said that.
She opened her mouth, but seemed to be at a loss for words.
I removed the wool sweater which Emery had put on me and returned it to her. “Thanks!” I said unemotionally.
She took over the sweater with a nod and said, “It’s already so late. Do you want to stay here tonight?”
“I drove here.” I shook my head and rejected her offer.
Without looking at those people still standing in the snow, I left the Moore Residence resolutely.
The snow was exceptionally heavy that night.
I wasn’t sure if Ashton had eventually returned to the villa. After I went back, I stayed inside the bedroom but was unable to sleep at all.
Since things had already progressed till the current stage, nothing could make things right again.
Right before dawn, the glow from the sparkling snowflakes had already penetrated through the windows and lit up my bedroom. A lovely snowy landscape outside greeted me in the morning.
After staying awake the entire night, I glanced at the clock and realized it was already 5 a.m.. It was time for me to wake up.
After putting on my jacket, I went downstairs and saw that the lights in the living room were still switched on. Apparently, Ashton did not come back last night.
As usual, I headed to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for Summer while waiting for her to wake up. After breakfast, I sent her to school.
I guess we had reached too early as the school gate was still shut.
“Mommy, we are too early. I’m so sleepy,” Summer said as she yawned. Then, she lay against the car seat, wanting to catch more sleep.
I tousled her hair and told her that I’d wake her up when the gate was opened. At that moment, I was feeling rather emotional but I wasn’t able to pinpoint exactly what feeling that was.
The school gate finally opened almost half an hour later. After sending Summer off, I realized that I had nothing else to do.
I only saw the news about Kristina when I was scrolling through my social media after I returned to the villa and realized that Ashton was still not back yet.
Initially, it was the headline of that article that caught my attention. It was only after I clicked on it that I realized it was about Kristina being a school bully when she was in college. Someone had even recorded a video of her in action.
