Chapter 89
CAMILLA’S PO.V
I was so excited to finally have things settle down. It felt like ages since we had any form of peace and I could finally spend long parts of my day with my family. Audrey in particular loved that and she made sure to milk every hour we were able to spend with her. She played her cards well and managed to convince Ryker to take her to do whatever she wanted. I was just happy to see my family safe and happy, it had a very content feeling to it. It felt like I could finally breathe without feeling like someone was looking over my shoulder and waiting for me to fail. It was also an added bonus that I hadn’t seen the elders in over a week. I was relieved and I prayed that the feeling would last.
I made my way towards the training grounds with apprehension in my heart. I had started training again full time thanks to Ryker’s encouragement and it was still weird at first but I was slowly getting back into a comfortable point with my powers. There was still a small part of me that held a little bit of resentment to the powers but I was beginning to get over it. It also helped that Lois was one of the kindest and most patient people I had ever met.
He had been trying to get me to summon water from moisture but it as difficult. My brows were tinged with sweat and my head hurt but I was unable to do it. It felt as though it was just out of my grip. I could almost feel it but I couldn’t get to it. I resisted the urge to scream in frustration and just bit down on my bottom l*p. “Your majesty, forgive me for this but I don’t think you are trying hard enough,” Lois said slowly after I had failed to conjure up anything and I narrowed my eyes at him. “The water is all around you. It is no different from pulling water out of a stream, just pull it and use it.”
“I am aware of what I am supposed to do but I suppose it is harder to pull water out of thin air considering that it is air,” I couldn’t keep the snark out of my voice.
Lois sighed and made his way over to me. “You remind me a lot of our mother. I didn’t train her but I was present for most of her sessions. May I speak freely?” I waved my hands. “I see her stubborn streak in you.”
“I don’t think stubborn would be the first word I would use to describe myself.”
“I don’t mean it in a bad way at all. I meant that you both have me ntal blocks in your minds that are too stubborn to remove- or maybe, you don’t want to remove them.”
I crossed my arms over my chest and turned to him. “I don’t know what you mean by that.”
“I think that you don’t want to use your powers anymore, at least, that is the vibe I am getting off you. It is almost as if you despise them for some reason. Your mother did too because she was never supposed to have them,” before I could ask what he meant, he made his way over to the chairs and gestured for me to follow
him.
I hesitated but ultimately took the seat next to him because I was more interested in the conversation than anything else and if it gave me the opportunity to pause training for a little while then it was an added bonus. For a second, he didn’t say anything, just stared up into the distance.
“You know that your mother married into the royal family meaning she didn’t have powers, or at least, she wasn’t supposed to. She was eighteen when they were married. Your father had powers; he was one of the greatest elementals to ever live. There was almost nothing he couldn’t do with his powers- he loved them. Your mother was the direct opposite.”
I hadn’t known my father was an elemental like me. It was knowledge I could have done without because everything I heard about him up to this point did not make him someone I wanted to emulate or be reminded of.
“Your mother is distantly related to the crown. Her grandmother was the second daughter of the king. She already knew about the powers but was relieved to not have them. Now imagine her surprise when on her twenty first birthday, she begins to display them. She was furious, I remember she spent weeks looking for ways to get rid of them. She refused training and she would not speak about them to anyone.”
“How did my father take the news?” I asked and he shook his head.
“Remember that I am just an outsider, I wasn’t privy to most of their conversations and can only speak based on what I heard and saw the few times I was around them,” I nodded to show that I understood. “He was jealous, he was used to being the special one but suddenly, that had been ripped away. I was told it caused a lot of problems for them. Your mother began to despise those powers. She felt they were responsible for the downfall of her family”
“Is this the part where you say that she finally looked inward and found that she was the problem?”
He smiled. “Not quite, the only reason your mother began training was to spite your father. They were an amusing pair, those two. I feel like in a different lifetime, they would have been soulmates,” he cleared his throat before going back to the story. “She hated her powers every second that she trained and it wasn’t until she was able to find a way to remove that hatred from her heart that she was able to reach their full potential.”
“I’m happy for her, but I don’t hate my powers,” even to my ears, it sounded like a lie.
“You may not completely hate them, but if you could get rid of them right now, would you?” I hesitated too long before responding.
It was an appealing offer. My powers had never saved me in an emergency so it wasn’t like I was going to lose anything except the title of being an elemental. “Exactly,” he said when I didn’t respond. “Until you deal with the source of that
rage, you will not be able to tap into your potential.”
“There is no source. Water powers are practically useless. What is the best I can do with it? Probably party tricks.”
He turned to me and laughed. By the time he calmed down, he was shaking his head at me as if I were unbelievable. “Did you know that the human b*dy was made predominantly of water? Did you realize that there is water under the earth? You can control almost anything as long as it has water inside of it. It is a more complex skill to master but it is not impossible”
My mouth was wide open in shock. I had never thought of it that way. It seemed like something I would be willing to learn but I was worried I would never be able to. Before I could say anything, I heard footsteps behind me. I turned to see Ryker with Aurora in his arms. Both him and our daughter were smiling as they made their way over.
“Am I interrupting?” he asked and Lois shook his head as he rose to his feet. “We were justfinishing,” he clasped his hands together and bowed to both of us. “Think about it, your majesty.”
He disappeared immediately after and Ryker turned to me with scrunched brows. “Do I want to know what just happened there?”
“I’ll tell you on the way inside.”
I told him everything that Lois had said and he listened intently. By the time I was done, he didn’t say any words. When I glanced at him, I knew he had a lot to say but for some reason, he was holding himself back. I waited until we got to the room and I was relaxing in the tub before I spoke.
“Just say whatever you want to say. You know I value your opinion.”
He sighed before speaking. “All of this started after our mother passed. Could it be that you feel some sort of responsibility in her passing? If you could conjure water from moisture at that point, you would have been able to douse the flames. Could that be it?”
I hated how accurate he was. I turned away from him and kept my gaze fixed on the wall. “That isn’t it, you’re wrong.”
“Am I, because you cannot even look at me?” he asked but I kept my l*ps shut. “Camilla, it was not your fault.”
“I know that.”
I heard shuffling then he returned to the room empty handed. Before I could ask where Aurora was, he crouched down by the side of the tub and cupped my face with both hands. “It was not your fault, Camilla. There was nothing you could have done then. Do not despise the gift you have been given over this.”
I swallowed and finally looked up at him. “I need to finish up.”
It was a clear dismissal and I hated doing it but I didn’t want Ryker breaking me. It wasn’t something I could handle. He sighed and took a step back with a nod. The
moment he walked out, I wanted to call out for him but it was like all the words had gotten stuck in my throat. I heard the door click shut and I realized that I was well and truly alone.
I didn’t leave my room for over an hour after that and thankfully, no one came to look for me. It wasn’t until my stomach grumbled in protest that I finally found my way to the dining room. I was shocked to see the entire family seated there. I expected that they would have finished by the time I got down but to my shock, they were just about to start.
“Camilla, I was just about to call you,” Christine said with a smile and I knew that Ryker hadn’t told her anything.
I didn’t look at Ryker as I took the seat between him and Audrey. My daughter was all smiles and giggles as she spoke animatedly to me. I tried to match her energy the best I could but I felt drained. I think I did a good job because she didn’t complain once. When the food came, I used that as an excuse not to speak but I tried to listen to her as best as I could. It was hard though because I had a splitting headache.
نا
Lunch went without a hitch and by the time I was done eating, I prepared to make my quick escape but Ryker anticipated that and spoke.
“Christine, can you please take the kids and give us a moment?”
