Chapter 56
I woke up first and the weight of my actions settled on me like lead. Ryker’s arm was wound around my waist and he was tucked by my side. I slowly disentangled myself from his hold but it proved harder than I thought because he was not ready to let go. I couldn’t help but face palm myself as I managed to get out. He has another child back home and here I am rolling into bed with him like a hormonal teenager.
I ran my hands down my face as I saw Ryker begin to stare and I pulled a robe around my b*dy to shield what little dignity I have left. I gathered our clothes from the floor and put mine in the laundry bag while I arranged Ryker’s neatly at the foot of the bed for him.
He finally woke up when he reached out into the bed and saw I wasn’t there. He sat up instantly and then he saw me standing there. He sat up slowly as if he was gauging my expression on my face and the situation in front of him.
“You’re awake,” he began and I hummed. “Camilla before you say anything-,”
“You should go,” I cut him off and I saw his face fall. “Audrey comes into my room every morning and I don’t want her to come in here and see something that we both can’t explain.”
“Why are you doing this?” he stood to his feet in all his n*ked glory and crossed the length of the room so he was standing directly in front of me.
“Put some clothes on,” I murmured trying not to look at him but his hand reached out and grabbed my chin then tilted my head back so I was staring right in his eyes.
“You want this, I know it and last night was more than enough proof. Why are you pushing me away? Why are you doing this?” I bit my tongue to stay silent. “Camilla, what is it that is refusing to allow you come to me?”
“Don’t act stu pid it is not an attractive look,” I spat hoping he would pull away at the insult but he didn’t. “You have a child Ryker, we cannot be doing this.”
“What does Audrey have to do with anything?”
“Not Audrey, Lauren’s child,” I all but yelled and he froze.
He opened his mouth to speak but I pushed him off me. He tried to step closer but I held out a hand to stop him and Ryker stood immobile. He stared down at me with wide eyes and he let out a sigh.
“I don’t have a child with Lauren,” he told me. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Is that why you ran, because Lauren told you we were having a child? You know better than I do that you should never listen to her.”
“She didn’t tell me.”
“Then what was so convincing that you believed them over me.”
“I heard it from Lucy. I heard Lucy tell her that she was pregnant and I heard her say that you both didn’t want me to know. I saw you with her.”
“Camilla, baby, you’re not making’ any sense.”
“I think you should leave Ryker,” I crossed my arms over my chest and Ryker let out a heavy exhale.
“Okay,” he nodded and started to put on his clothes.
The air was thick with tension and I watched as he glanced at me ever so slightly hoping and praying I would change my mind and ask him to stay so we could talk but I was firm in my decision. The last thing I want is Ryker lying to me and telling me that what I saw was some kind of apparition. I know what I saw, I never forgot it and seeing him right here in front of me denying everything is like a blow to the heart.
Ryker quietly exited my room and I slid to the floor with my head buried in my legs. I allowed myself the luxury of five minutes to mourn whatever had just happened before I forced myself to rise. I am the princess and I have work to do. I do
not have the liberty to cry over a man, much less a man who cheated.
As I pushed to my feet, the maids appeared with warm water for a bath and once I was cleaned, I settled for one of my more extravagant dresses. A part of me hoped I would be able to hide all my sorrows with the dress. As soon as I stepped out of my room, Audrey was already stumbling towards my door while rubbing her eyes.
I picked up my daughter and went to clean her up. By the time she was finally awake, she wanted to wear a dress just like mine and that is how Audrey and I ended up down the stairs in frilly light pink dresses adorned with jewels and embroidery. When we got to the dining room, mother raised a brow.
For the first time ever, someone had out dressed her and she raised her glass to me in a sort of toast. Christine however was sending me curious looks as if she was worried about me and I tried my best to avoid her gaze because I know her and she can undo me with one look.
Mother was called out of the dining room and as soon as the door shut behind her, Christine leaned over to me and whispered.
“What’s with the dress?” she asked and I shrugged. “Come on, I know you better than that.
“Audrey wanted to match.”
“You have a million pink dresses that match, why this one?”
“It’s pretty,” I deadpanned, “Do I need any other reason to pick a dress other than its beauty?”
“Camilla,” she began but I cut her off.
“I really don’t want to talk about it right now.” She raised her hands in mock surrender. “Will you be able to watch Audrey when she is with Ryker? I can’t be there today.”
“Is everything okay?”.
“Yes,” I assured her, “I just want to go into town and see what I can do.”
She looked like she didn’t believe me but she let out a sigh and nodded. This is one of the reasons I am most grateful for Christine. She will never push unless it is absolutely necessary and she is always there for me to count on even when I cannot count on myself.
After breakfast, I passed by Ryker in the halls and I could tell he wanted to speak to me but I pointedly ignored him and made my way out of the palace and towards the gardens. Only Steven was following me because he is one of four guards permitted to enter the gardens.
I sat on my heels on the ground and Steven stayed by the entrance to give me the semblance of privacy that I so craved while I allowed my mind wander. I couldn’t help but go back to last night’s actions with Ryker I knew I should regret them but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. In fact, I wanted to do it over and over again.
It made me feel icky on the inside because I should know better. I should be setting a good example for my daughter that she should never let a man toss her around but here I am running back into bed with a man who cheated on me and got another woman pregnant although he denies that it ever happened.
Some illogical part of my mind hoped that he was telling the truth because the fact of the matter is that I never stopped loving Ryker. It was practically impossible for me to. I tried my best to get his memories out of my head but it was like he was cemented in there. When Audrey came along it got worse because she reminded me so much of him. She acts like him, she has his eyes and sometimes when I look at her, all I see is her father.
I buried my head into my palms as I thought of what I could possibly do about the entire situation. It is so sticky and tangled like a spider’s web and I don’t even know where I stay in this. I don’t know why he didn’t come with Lauren or his child with her. I would have expected him to do that honestly but maybe he did it out of respect for me.
I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t hear the footsteps in the garden until a shadow fell directly over me. I looked up and saw Tyson standing there in all his glory with an unreadable expression on his face. I was on my knees so he was towering over me and instead of giving him the pleasure of thinking it had an effect, I simply sat back on my feels and
looked up at him with pure boredom.
I could tell it grated on his nerves because I saw his jaw tick but instead of lashing out, he reached behind him and brought out a bouquet of wild flowers.
“These are for you,” he said as he handed them over to me and I stared at his outstretched hands as if they were poisoned. “I promise you, they aren’t poisoned.”
I reluctantly reached out and took them from him and I placed them on the ground next to me. I took it only out of courtesy and not because I plan to keep it. If anything, I want Tyson out of here as soon as possible.
“If that is all you can leave,” I said simply. “You know that you are not supposed to be here.”
“I wanted to speak to you personally,” he took a seat on the grass which I found shocking. “I wanted to apologize for my behavior over the past few days. I overreacted and I am sorry for the outbursts. It was very undignified of me.”
“What do you want Tyson?” I asked because I know Tyson would never apologize unless he has ulterior motives. I would rather deal with his straightforwardness than deal with a pretense of affection or remorse.
“Audrey is not my child, is she?”
“No, she is not. Why would you think she is and why would you think that I would have kept any child of yours?” he opened his mouth to speak but I cut him off. “You m ay have forgotten Tyson, but I have not. Tell me what you are really here for or I will call the guards and have you jailed for trespa ssing.
I could see the shock on his face that I was speaking back to him and something else crossed his face but he was too covered by shadows for me to realize. Finally, he smiled and sighed deeply.
“I wanted to apologize Camilla and I wanted to tell you that I want you back.”
I scoffed, “If that is all, then it shouldn’t be a problem.” I stood to my feet. “You don’t have to wait long for an answer, it is
no.”
He reached out to grab my arm and I shot him a scathing look.
“If you do not let go of me, I will break your arm in places you did not know were possible.” He let go of me instantly and I brushed the dirt off my b*dy, “I think it is time for you to leave.”
I didn’t wait for a response or an answer from him. Instead, I turned on my heels and walked out of the garden. Steven stared at me in a silent question as I left but I shook my head letting him know everything was fine as we made our way back into the palace.
I saw Riley walking towards the doors as we were walking in and she cast me a withering look. She must not have been paying attention to where she was going because she tripped. I reached down to help her up when she whispered in a voice so soft only I could have heard.
“I saw the both of you. If you want to be his wh ore then leave Ryker out of it.”
י
Before I could comprehend the sentence, she was on her feet and walking out of the palace.
