Chapter 46
I ran as fast as I could from the office and back downstairs but I couldn’t bring myself to tell anyone what I had seen. I could barely form the words to tell myself but that didn’t matter.
I tried my best to act composed and casual the entire day but I could tell that everyone was worried. Riley kept asking me questions about the mating ceremony and I wanted to just scream at her that I didn’t want the ceremony anymore. I wanted to go home to my own bed and just sleep.
When the day was over, Ryker came as if nothing had happened and pressed a k*ss to my forehead. It took everything in me not to pull away or cringe and I took a discreet sniff of him but he didn’t smell like her at all. He must have found a way to wash her scent off him.
I wanted nothing more than to confront him over the entire issue but my l*ps couldn’t form the words. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t bring myself to say anything. Not while we were in the carriage, not during dinner and definitely not when we were alone in bed at night.
I hoped he would tell me about it himself. Maybe it was the naïve part of me hoping that it was all a mistake and that I had somehow seen wrong. It tried my best to believe that he would tell me himself but he didn’t. Not even in the morning when I pointedly refused to train with him.
Although at that moment, he stopped and analyzed me with a sort of look that had me feeling like he was turning my skin inside out and looking at the deepest parts of me.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, “You’ve been acting weird since last night.” “Nothing,” I lied, “I just don’t want to train.”
He sighed deeply and moved until he was crouched down in between my legs and he was staring up at me. I tried to avoid his gaze and when he tried to get me to look at him, I pulled away from his touch.
I could see the hurt etched on his face but he swallowed down whatever retort he had and he sighed.
“Camilla,” Ryker breathed softly. “Remember what we said about
communicating, I don’t know what I’ve done wrong and if you don’t tell me what I’ve done wrong then I can’t fix it.”
I looked up at him incredulously. How can you not know what you did
wrong? You were five seconds away from having S** with Lauren in your office. I tried so hard but it was like each time I opened my mouth, a chord wrapped around my throat and the words wouldn’t come out.
I tried and I tried but no sound will come out and in the end I settled for crossing my arms on my lap in front of me and looking away. Ryker sighed and rested his forehead against my arms.
“Whatever it is that I did,” his voice was m uffled from the position. “I am so sorry, and whenever you’re ready to tell me what it is, I will be here to listen and fix things.”
He placed a soft k*ss to one of my wrists and then he was on his feet and out of the room. Unease and doubt started to rush through me and I wondered what if I had seen the wrong thing?
Breakfast was another terse affair. I went down for breakfast early because I didn’t want to spend more time than was necessary with Ryker until I had the time to think. I thought my plan was foolproof until Ryker returned from training early and somehow, Riley decided that she wanted to come down for breakfast early.
No one was speaking or even looking at each other and the tension between the three of us could have been cut with a knife. It was worse when we had to go to the pack house because we were all stuck in the same small space called our carriage, our knees were basically brushing but we couldn’t- wouldn’t- speak to each other.
As soon as the carriage stopped, Ryker was out and he was helping me out but I ignored his outstretched hand and came out myself. I saw the hurt cross his features and I knew he wanted to speak about it but he clamped his mouth shut tightly and was called off by some people. “Is everything okay between you guys?” Riley asked as soon as we were within the safe walls of the pack house and I nodded. “It doesn’t seem that way, this is the longest I have seen you guys go without actively touching each other. Are you sure everything is fine?”
“Everything is fine,” it was a chore to speak those lies. They threatened to choke me but I forced them out, “I just don’t feel really good.”
She gave me a look that clearly said that she didn’t believe me but she didn’t push it. Instead she nodded and took a seat right next to me on the couch.
“Well if you’re ready then we can go ahead with more of the
preparations,” she gauged my reaction as she spoke and it took
everything in me to keep a neutral expression. “Unless of course, you would like to do something else.”
I opened my mouth to refuse but just like before, the words were getting stuck in my throat. I wanted to know what the sudden cause of my selective muteness was because I have never experienced this before. Riley had opened her mouth to say something else when I caught a flash. of white out of the corner of my eye. I turned to the source and was shocked to see Lucy in her doctor’s coat walking through the halls.
“Is that Lucy?” I asked to be sure that she was the one I was seeing and Riley nodded.
“What is she doing here?”
She made to stand but I held out a hand to stop her and followed the path where Lucy had gone. She disappeared through turn after turn until she stopped in front of a single room. I don’t know why I didn’t just call out to her, I wanted to know why she was sneaking around the pack house.
I followed behind her and settled for listening at the door when I heard. two voices. It took me a while but I recognized the second voice.
“Are the results out?” Lauren asked and I heard Lucy hum. “You have to tell me now, we can’t wait any longer.”
“I don’t know why you didn’t just come to me yourself. You didn’t have to send the Alpha.”
I was confused by her statement. What did Lauren send Ryker to do? What were they talking about and why don’t I know about it?
“We didn’t want to risk anyone finding out,” Lauren whispered softly, “Ryker wanted us to try again but he also didn’t want to risk her finding out.”
“Well she is going to have to know because the results are back and you’re pregnant.”
It felt like someone had taken a sledgehammer to my sanity and my entire world. I could almost hear the glass shards that were my life shattering. The pain I felt in my chest was unexplainable; it was like someone had reached in and taken my heart out then squeezed it into dust between their fingers.
I couldn’t bring my feet to move and I heard as they rejoiced together and Lauren spoke about how excited Ryker would be because they have
been trying for so long to have another baby after she lost the first one.
I wanted to believe that it was all a lie and that I was dreaming but the more I pinched myself, the more real it became. If it was just Lauren I wouldn’t have believed it but this is Lucy giving the news. Ryker trusts Lucy more than anyone so it would actually make sense that he would put her in charge of this.
If he wanted a kid with Lauren and he wanted to be with Lauren then why didn’t he just tell me? I would have taken the news well and I would have left immediately but he kept me around probably for show.
I forced the tears back and took steady breaths to calm myself. I walked until I found myself in front of the pack house and without speaking to anyone, I walked over to the carriage where the foot man was sitting. “I don’t feel well,” I told him, “I want to go back home.”
He rushed to his feet immediately and within a few minutes, I was back on the bumpy ride to the house. I knew they would tell Ryker that I had left but I couldn’t bring myself to care. I felt numb and I just wanted the constant ringing in my head to stop.
As soon as I got home, I felt my legs carry me in the direction of Ryker’s office. I searched through the number of files and papers on his table hoping that I would find something that would tell me that it was all a lie. but I didn’t.
Everything here was strictly for work except for a file that had my name on it. It contained a map to reach the royal family and some notes in the prophecy that he was so determined that I was a part of. Maybe that’s why he kept me, because I’m supposedly part of this prophecy.
I took the file and was walking out of his office when Eve saw me. She took one look at me and sympathy filled her entire face. I held out a hand to tell her to stop because I knew if she spoke to me then I would lose it.
Instead, she walked over to me and wrapped her arms around me. The tears started to flow at this point and I couldn’t do anything to stop them. “What happened?” she asked but I couldn’t bring myself to speak the words, “Tell
“Tell me, Camilla.”
“Everything hurts,” was all I could say, “And I need to leave.”
She froze at those words and pulled back from me, “What are you talking
going?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted, “But I can’t stay here. Not after what I just saw and not after everything.”
“What did you see?” she probed but I couldn’t tell her.
I knew that if I told her then she would tell Ryker and the last thing I want is for Ryker to feel like he has to look for me. Let them all think that I left of my own accord, that way he can be free to mate with Lauren and they will have their child freely.
“Eve, I have never asked anything of you,” I began slowly and she pulled away from me.
“Then don’t start now because I’m not going to do it.”
“You said that we look out for one another, right?” I didn’t wait for her to respond, I grabbed a hold of both her hands. “I’m not asking you to help me leave. I’m asking you to pretend like you didn’t know about it at all. I only told you because I respect you so much.”
“You don’t have to leave, Ryker will fix whatever it is.”
“He can’t fix this.”
She was crying but when she saw how serious I was, she nodded. She pulled her hands free of my grip and wiped away her tears.
“All I can give you is ten minutes then I have to tell Ryker that you’re missing. You can’t get out of the pack in ten minutes.”
“This won’t be my first time running from an Alpha. Ten minutes is all I need.”
“Be careful Camilla,” she said and then without another word, she turned on her heels and disappeared into the kitchen.
