Chapter 170
CAMILLA’S P.O.V
I stared at my mate incredulously. “I healed two people before her despite you begging me not to. Healing Riley alone couldn’t have caused whatever just happened. If I had listened to you earlier when-”
He shook his head. “Don’t, Camilla, don’t try to take the blame for this. What happened is done and now, all we can do is try to fix it before it gets worse. You cannot use your powers under any circumstances. Am I clear?”
I didn’t like the order in his tone but I knew he was only doing it to protect me so I nodded. He leaned forward and placed a lingering kiss against my forehead. He smelled just like himself, but he looked like he had been through hell. When he pulled back, he exhaled deeply as if he had been waiting for a chance to do that. He pushed the tray closer to me as if trying to spur me to eat. I took a bite and nearly moaned. I noticed him watching me intently so I decided to bridge a different topic.
“Is Lyla still here?” I asked and he nodded. “Did she say how long she was staying?”
“I didn’t asl. I just made sure she was comfortable and I came back to you. I haven’t done much of talking to anyone if I’m being honest.”
“What about the girls? Are they okay?”
“Yeah, they don’t know what is happening. Audrey thinks you were just taking a long nap because you weren’t feeling good. I told her that she could come see you after dinner. She wasn’t happy about it but she came to terms with it.”
I wanted to go and see her immediately but I still felt weak and out of sorts. It was almost like I was a stranger in my body. Something inside of me felt hollow and empty, like it would never be filled again. I thought back to the small hole in my chest that I saw in the mirror and instinctively, my hands went up to my chest and I rubbed softly. It wasn’t until I noticed Ryker’s eyes on me that I realized I had been doing it. I dragged my hand down and turned away to hide the flush building on my cheeks.
“Is something wrong?” he asked but I shook my head. I hadn’t told him about what I saw yet. I hadn’t wanted to give him more of a reason to worry. “You know better than to lie to me, Camilla. Does your chest hurt? Do you want me to call the physician?”
“There is nothing that he can do for me,” I whispered softly and concern grew on his face.
“Please, Camilla, you’re making me worry.”
“A part of myself is missing,” I said finally knowing how absurd it sounded. Ryker sat there staring at me in concern and waiting for me to elaborate so I did. By the time I was done, he looked lost in thought. “I’m not sure if that is what it is but that is what I understood by it. it doesn’t matter anyway, it is a tiny piece, I barely noticed it.”
He smiled sadly. “Are you lying for your benefit or mine?”
I hesitated before shrugging. “Probably both,” I chuckled dryly. “I don’t want to be incomplete, Ryker. I don’t want to walk around while permanently missing something. I can’t live my life like that. It will heal, it has to. If I don’t use my powers for a while then it will.
I wasn’t sure if I was trying to convince him or myself but it wasn’t working. We both knew that it was never going to heal. I was stuck this way because I chose to be careless with powers that I didn’t understand. I was stuck this way because I wouldn’t listen and I allowed my stubbornness take control.
Ryker looked like he wanted to speak. He opened his mouth to say something when there was a soft knock on the door. It opened slowly to reveal Audrey running in. Behind her was Aurora who slowly wobbled on her feet. Despite the initial sadness and damper on the room, a smile broke out on my face when Audrey leaped onto the bed and into my lap.
Ryker and I were barely able to move the tray of food aside before she landed. Her hands wrapped around my waist as she buried her face into my robe. I stroked her soft curls marveling at the feel of them under my fingertips and her mere presence in the room.
“I thought your dad said you couldn’t come until dinner?” I asked and her cheeks flushed pink. I raised a brow in her direction and she promptly looked away. “Audrey Valentina Caine, what did you do?”
“Dad didn’t say when I had to have dinner so I had it now. I already had dinner, you see,” she exclaimed trying to make me see the logic in her reasoning, “Are you mad at me? I just wanted to see you. Daddy said you were tired and I got you flowers.”
She gestured behind her and I noticed that Christine held a bunch of multicolored flowers. The stems weren’t cut evenly and I knew without a doubt that she had picked them herself. Regardless, it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen and I took it from her. I made a show of inhaling their scent before placing it on my bedside table.
“That is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.” I kissed her hair before turning to Aurora who was squirming in Ryker’s hold and trying to get to me. I reached out for her and she wasted no time in coming to me. “Did you help with the flowers too?”
“She’s a baby, mummy, she can’t understand you,” Audrey exclaimed as if she were talking to a child and I bit down on my bottom lip to smother my child. “Besides, she can’t touch the flowers, they have thorns and thorns are very sharp. She just sat down while I did all the work.”
I wasn’t sure if she was impressed with herself or pis sed off at Aurora for not helping. If I was being honest, it seemed like a little bit of both. I wasn’t sure how to handle that so I just hummed and nodded slowly. Aurora reached for my hair and I had to pull it out of her grip before she could put it in her mouth.
Audrey laughed and as I sat there with my children, I realized that it didn’t matter if some part of me was missing, I had everything I needed right there in front of me. I had a loving mate, I had wonderful children and I had the kind of life most people were dreaming about. I was fulfilled and complete where it mattered and that was the most important thing.
The girls fell asleep in the room and Ryker and I took them back to theirs. Ryker didn’t want me to come with but I wanted to walk around and exercise my legs because I hadn’t moved in over twenty four hours. As we walked back to our room, we took a leisurely stroll. The palace was quiet and you could hear the crickets chirping from outside, the moon was in the sky and the breeze blew through the deserted halls.
“Why don’t we go out?” I asked and Ryker turned to me with confusion etched on his features. “Instead of returning to a stuffy room, why don’t we take a walk? We can just sit on the bench and enjoy the moonlight.”
He frowned. “Camilla, I’m not sure if that is a good idea. You need to rest.”
“I have done nothing but rest all day. I just want a second where nobody is treating me like I am damaged goods. If you want me to believe that everything is fine then act like it.”
He pursed his lips for a second before nodding. I let out a sigh of relief because I truly hadn’t expected him to agree. We walked out together marveling at the brightness of the moon. It was peculiarly high and brighter than usual. Ryker led us towards the bench by the fountain and on instinct I reached out to move the water.
It was almost like second nature, I had done it for so long that I barely even realized I was moving the water until Ryker’s hand clamped around my wrist. The small wave I was making crashed and I turned to him with a frown.
“That was a big one,” I argued but he didn’t even seem fazed.
“You need to be resting, Camilla. Using your powers does not equal rest. It is your powers that got you into this position.”
“Quite the contrary actually, using my healing abilities got me into this mess. My water powers were given to me when I turned twenty one as they should have. There is no issue with me using them.”
He didn’t look amused by my explanation and I knew he wasn’t going to budge anytime soon. I let out a sigh and turned to him. I placed my hands in his and for a second there, I just stared at the size difference between our hands. Mine were soft and dainty with minimal scars and his were a polar opposite.
“I am fine,” I told him and he opened his mouth to speak but I held up a finger to cut him off. “I am here, I am alive and you don’t have to worry right now. You don’t have to coddle me, you don’t have to monitor me.”
“You could have died,” he whispered finally and I knew he was getting it off his chest. “I didn’t know what happened to you, I didn’t check. If Lyla hadn’t arrived when she did, I wouldn’t have gone to check for you. You could have been lying dead there and I wouldn’t have known.”
“You would have,” I was sure of it. “What matters is that you found me. It doesn’t matter where or when, it just matters that you
“No, I did failed you, again. That is the only truth.”
