Chapter 165
CAMILLA’S P.O.V
I awoke with a gasp. The remnants of what was my dream swirled around my head ready to be taken away with the morning wind. I reached blindly for the dresser until I found my journal and ink and I started writing. I wrote down everything I could remember in a hurry. The sun was standing in the middle of the sky but I might as well have still been in the dark with how disoriented I was. I furiously scribbled until the blank pages were filled with words, half of which didn’t make a lot of sense to me.
“Baby,” I looked up to see Ryker staring down at me with concern in his eyes. I wasn’t sure how long he had been standing there, all I knew was that there was worry in his features.
He looked like he wasn’t sure whether he wanted to pull me away or come to me. I slowly set down my pen and gave him the most easy going smile I could muster but that did little to ease his worry. He moved slowly, as if he were scared of spo oking me. I tracked every movement with my eyes until he was standing directly in front of me. He stretched out his hand to me and I took it. it wasn’t until our skin connected that I realized just how cold I was.
“F uck,” he cursed as he pulled the nearby blanket and draped it over my shoulders. “Are you alright? You are ice cold. Do you want me to run you a hot bath?”
“No,” I said too quickly and his brows furrowed. He was clearly taken aback because that wasn’t the response he was expecting from me. “Can you just sit here with me?”
I didn’t want to admit it but the truth was that I was terrified. I never had nightmares like that, it felt so realistic, like whoever that person was, she was truly in my head. I had never felt so violated in my life and I wasn’t sure how I was meant to react to it. I could still feel the coldness of her presence and the echo of her voice in the stillness around me. It was cold and eerie, like death itself and I recognized her presence, it was the same I felt in the withered crops and in the first sick man.
Ryker didn’t know what to do with me, I could feel his confusion and concern as he sat by me. He wrapped his arms around me and all I could do was ease into him. He whispered soft words into my ears and although I couldn’t make out most of them, his presence was more than enough for me. I wasn’t sure how long we stood there, it felt like hours but in reality, I knew it wouldn’t have been more than a few minutes of us just intertwined with each other.
“Are you going to tell me what this is about?” he asked and I shrugged. “I haven’t seen you like this in a very long time, Camilla, please don’t make me push for an answer,”
I exhaled deeply and told him everything. it sounded absurd coming from my lips and if it were a different person, I would have found it incredibly hard to believe. Words couldn’t properly capture everything I had experienced but I tried my best. As I spoke, I couldn’t help but wonder if this was how Audrey felt after her visions. If it were, then I was glad that we locked her powers. No one deserved to go. through this, it was a nightmare.
By the time I was done speaking, Ryker was quiet and contemplating. I risked a glance at him wondering if he thought I was crazy but there was not a single ounce of judgment on her face as he took me in. After a moment of silence, he leaned down and placed a kiss in the center of my head. No words were spoken but that was the loudest display of solidarity that I had ever gotten in my life. His hands ran up and down my back in a calming motion.
“I believe you,” he said finally, “and I am right here.”
“Thank you,” I didn’t know how much I craved to hear those words until he had actually said them. “I don’t know what I would have done if you didn’t. I can’t do this alone.”
“You won’t have to,” he assured me with a soft smile. “However, I am unsure if we can get extra help. It would be difficult to explain this to anyone else. For now, we are all we have.”
“That’s more than enough.”
It might have sounded cheesy but it was true. I didn’t need anyone else. We had dealt with so much and I knew we could do it. We stayed in the room for anoth4r half hour before finally deciding to get ready for the day. By the time I got to my desk, there was a mountain of paper work to be done and I was grateful. The last thing I wanted was to spend the rest of my day lost in my thoughts and trying to analyze the effects of my nightmare.
I was so lost in my work that I missed both lunch and dinner. It wasn’t until I got a knock on my door that I realized just how late it was. The door opened to reveal Audrey with Ryker walking directly behind her. She was struggling to balance a large tray in her hands but her tiny face was screwed up in concentration. I couldn’t stop the smile that grew on my lips as she got closer.
“I brought this for you,” she exclaimed as she tried to lift it onto my table. I had to help her with it so it wouldn’t tip over. She didn’t look happy about that but she managed to stay silent about it. “You didn’t come for dinner with us. Daddy said it was because you had a lot of work and you forgot.”
I tried not to feel guilty but it was impossible. That familiar disgusting feeling of guilt was already crawling up my arms as I took in my daughter’s innocent face. I glanced over at my mate who was holding our youngest and he gave me a soft look of encouragement. He wasn’t holding anything against me and neither was she, instead of fighting, I might as well just make amends and enjoy the opportunity I had been given.
I turned back to Audrey. “I did forget, I am sorry for that but thank you for coming to find me. You are the most amazing little girl ever.”
I kissed her forehead and she giggled. “Can I sit with you?”
Instead of responding, I lifted her and placed her on my lap. Ryker took the seat opposite us while we ate. She stole pieces of fruit from my tray and sips of my drink. I couldn’t even bring myself to mind because simply being with them was enough for me. She told me about her day at school and I listened eagerly. It was great to hear that she was having a good time adjusting and was making a lot of friends.
Her school experience was the direct opposite of mine and for that I was grateful. I wouldn’t wish my experience on my worst enemy, much less my own child. I wanted her to blossom and be happy and everything I had done so far was for her benefit. She was oblivious to what could be brewing at the surface. I couldn’t bring myself to regret my decision to have children but sometimes I wondered if maybe I should have waited until the world was a better place first because they somehow always ended up getting tangled in the web.
“Mummy, are you listening?” Audrey’s question snapped me out of my thoughts and I turned to her with a small smile.
“Of course, I am, I always listen to you,” I tickled her and she burst into a fit of laughter and squeals. It was a joyous sound, one that I hoped I would be able to listen to for the rest of my life. It was a sound of carefree joy and it was times like this that made me grateful that I had children.
I couldn’t imagine being stuck in such a dark world without a beacon of light and hope to keep me going and that was exactly what they were. I couldn’t stop myself from pulling Audrey into a tight hug. She didn’t know what it was for but in her innocence, she just wrapped her arms around me and buried her face into me. I let out a sigh of relief as I inhaled her scent.
“I love you mummy,” she whispered and I was so emotional that I couldn’t repeat the words back.
There was another knock on the door that had me stilling. It was late at night, not many people would have dared to visit me at this time. Ryker went to open the door and there was a guard standing out there. He looked terrified as he stood there. He opened and closed his mouth a few times but no words would come out. I couldn’t help but notice that his eyes were more focused on Ryker than they were on me.
“What is wrong?” I asked but he couldn’t respond. “Can you take me to it?”
He nodded and turned on his heels. I lifted Audrey on my hip and followed him. I didn’t know what we were going to see but I wouldn’t risk leaving her alone. The guard expertly weaved through the halls until he led us out of the castle. Steven and Kevin were following behind me but that did next to nothing to ease my worry.
As we stepped out of the castle, I noticed a horse that seemed eerily familiar and standing next to the horse was a hunched figure. I reached forward but when the person turned to face me, I nearly stumbled over with a curse. I stood there in shock not believing what I was seeing. Their skin was as white as snow and there were pores all over, I almost didn’t recognize them.
“Help me,” even the voice didn’t sound human. It was shaky and croaking, almost as if it was a chore to speak. “Please, I can’t.”
The person swayed and Ryker immediately rushed over to steady her with one hand. I was frozen in my place as I watched.
“Mummy,” Audrey asked unsure. “Why does Aunt Riley look that way?”
