Chapter 44
I followed the two guys and hopped into Russel’s ride. Oscar and I took the backseat. I propped him up in case he decided to hit the deck again. “What’s his address?” Russel asked. I shook my head, “No idea. We could probably find a hotel nearby where he can rest.” “Alright.” Russel replied, then he steered towards the nearest hotel. On the way, I felt very uneasy, as if I had been caught doing something wrong. At the hotel, Russel used his ID to book a room for Oscar. Once Oscar was sorted, I felt very relaxed. I turned to Russel and said, “Dr. Russel, could you do me a favor and drop me back at the bar? My car is still there.” “Let me drop you home instead. You’ve had a few, you shouldn’t be driving.” Russel glanced at me. There was no expression on his face. He’s actually very handsome, but why wasn’t he smiling? It wasn’t hard to see why he and Neil were buddies. Both of them loved to put on a sourpuss. But Russel had a point, I shouldn’t be drink driving. I could get Bailey to pick the car up tomorrow. I replied gratefully, “Sounds good, thanks!” Once I was back in Russel’s car, I sat in the passenger seat. His driving was steady. I was nearly falling asleep. “Why were you drinking with him?” Russel asked out of the blue. I snapped wide awake.
“He had a fight with his girlfriend, so he called me up to hang out.” I rubbed my tired eyes, my voice heavy with exhaustion. “Do you think that’s appropriate?” Russel asked, a hint of reproach in his tone. I laughed, “What’s inappropriate about it? My husband is chasing after his girlfriend, and I’m consoling him. Sounds pretty fair to me.” That obviously hit a nerve with Russel. He pulled over, looked me square in the eye and said, “Irene, what happened to you? You used to love Neil so much, I really admired that about you. Now you’re going to jeopardize yourself just to get back at Neil?” I was taken aback. Russel was impressed by my feelings for Neil?
Right. He had no experience in love, so he might be impressed to see me so loyal to Neil. “I’ve said it before, you should be convincing Neil to divorce me right away. I don’t want a dime from him. I want nothing to do with him ever again!” I was getting worked up. Russel had no idea what I had been through in my past life, so he always brought out the most anger in me. I was still angry, so I continued, “If you think it’s inappropriate for me to drink with Oscar, do you think it’s appropriate for you to be alone with me all the time? Do you think it’s appropriate that you’re keeping secrets from Neil for me?” If we were always so strict about rules, there wouldn’t be a single perfect person in this world. Sure enough, Russel’s face went ice-cold. His eyes were practically freezing over. I could see his anger clearly. Under the influence, I became bolder and raised my voice, “So what if you’re pis sed? There’s a right and wrong in everything, and love has its order too. Neil betrayed me first, so you have no right to blame me!” “What did I blame you for?” Russel snapped back at me. “For getting close to Oscar, for not waiting around like a fool for Neil to come around. Neil has plenty of lovers, what difference does one less make? Is his house short of a pet that can talk?” I vented all my pent-up feelings on Russel. He was the only one who knew all my secrets, except for the fact that I had been reborn. Who would’ve thought, he was my ally in my past life, and he’s my ally in this life too. Our destinies seemed to be intertwined. Russel seemed pretty peeved. He took a deep breath to calm himself down before replying, “I didn’t blame you for any of that. I think it’s a good thing that you decided to divorce Neil. But you should know Neil better. If he found out that you’ve known Oscar and Bonnie all along and you’ve been playing them for fools, do you think he’d let it slide? If you’re determined to leave him, don’t leave any loose ends. You got it?!” This was the first time Russel had spouted so many words at me in one go. He clenched his teeth and stared at me.
I was dumbfounded for a moment. Maybe… he had a point. Since divorce was the inevitable outcome, all the foreshadowing that I had planted now, once Neil found out, would become the reason for his revenge on me. I was so focused on setting traps for Neil and making his love journey with Bonnie harder, I didn’t realize I was digging my own grave. “Have you really let go of Neil? Or have you not truly understood your own heart? Is all this for a smooth divorce with Neil, or are you just looking for excuses to stay entangled with him?” Each word out of Russel’s mouth was a stab to my heart, and made me feel pain and shame. I kept quiet. Honestly, I had a hard time answering those questions. “I don’t want to be entangled with him anymore, but Oscar is the only one who gives me some sort of emotional balance. What should I do?” After a while, I looked at Russel, lost. For the sake of Neil, I had lost myself for a whole decade. Even though I got a second chance at life, I still couldn’t find my footing. Maybe I’d be able to find myself again after the divorce. “Find something to do, keep yourself busy” Russel suggested. His words reminded me of Ryan’s proposition. Maybe I could really consider joining Whitmore Co. At least in the future, when I divorce Neil, I’d have a better handle on the shares I’d get I nodded thoughtfully Russel continued driving, heading towards Sterling Estates. Once home, I sincerely thanked Russel. I watched him drive off before I turned to go inside. “Ah!” I barely took two steps when Neil suddenly appeared before me, scaring the living daylights out of me, I let out a yelp. Neil was decked out in a black shirt, with a burgundy tie hanging loose around his neck and his jacket slung over his elbow, reeking of booze. He was just standing there, quietly looking at me. I thought he’d chew me out for having Russel drive me home, but he didn’t say a word, just turned and walked towards the house. 1fallowed behind him, staring at his tall figure. His mature physique was even more robust than when he was a teen, and way more magnetic. I’d often wanted to wrap my arms around him, feel his body heat, but that wish of mine never came true.
If it weren’t for the strong meds Ada got for me, Neil and I might not have done the deed till we were divorced.
