Of course she was aware that he was the child that she carried inside her for ten months, which was why she did not want him to suffer with her. If it was possible, she would gladly bring Little Bean to her side right away because she was lonely and in need of warmth. But… what will happen after I bring him over? Is he going to see me break down everyday? If that is the case, then it is too selfish for me to do so!
Han Muzi closed her eyes and shook her head. “Yan, off the video. Don’t let him call over again.”
“Muzi!”
“Turn it off!” Han Muzi shouted as she lifted her head to stare at Little Bean on the screen. “Little Bean, you listen to me now. Don’t you ever call me again. Focus on your schoolwork and wait for Mommy to find your daddy. We’ll come back for you then.” She grinded her teeth.
Little Bean was still in tears when he looked at her. “I don’t want to. Mommy, can I not do that? I want to go over to you now. I don’t want Daddy anymore; I only want you.”
Yan was still holding the phone with the child’s crying surrounding her. Then, Han Muzi stoically reached out to turn off the video before shoving Yan’s phone under her pillow. “Muzi? Muzi, you’ve gone too far this time! He is your own son!”
“So? Is this the reason why you let him call me? Yan, you know clearly of my current situation. What do you want me to say to him?” Her eyes were hollow when she looked at Yan and then Yan took a breath. “I don’t want you to say anything to him. It’s just that Little Bean knows about this now, so he is very sad. Aren’t you his mother? Is there any problem for him to miss you or talk to you?”
“There shouldn’t be a problem, but I’m not in a good condition right now, so I don’t want to see anybody.” She did not want to project the negativity on her to Little Bean. Even though it was cruel of her to ignore Little Bean, what else could she say to him? If Little Bean knew about the accident, then as a child, he would want to get to the heart of the matter. So, how was she to explain to him then?
“Are you planning to be like this if Ye Moxuan doesn’t come back? Little Bean is just a kid. He can’t understand you like an adult would. Do you understand?”
Han Muzi did not want to continue the conversation, so she turned her head away in frustration and sneered, “I know. You should leave.”
“Muzi…” Yan still would not give up and called her name while sitting on the side of the bed, not wanting to leave.
“Stop now. I want to be quiet alone.” Seeing that Yan still sat on the side of the bed and not wanting to leave, Han Muzi had no other choice but to cover herself in the blanket and ignore her.
Yan then retrieved her belongings and left the ward. After she headed outside, she ran into Su Jiu, who was standing outside. Su Jiu looked at her in shock. “What happened? I seemed to hear you two arguing just now.”
“Don’t even mention it. It makes me mad.”
“How can you be so angry at such a critical moment? I want to know.” Su Jiu was curious.
“You know that Little Bean is just a five or six year old kid. He misses his mother and he wants to talk to her. This is normal, right? But Muzi actually refused to let him call her. I felt sad just by watching it. Little Bean was crying so hard and she did nothing.”
Su Jiu finally understood her anger before she smiled helplessly and patted Yan’s shoulder, explaining to her gently, “Oh you. You’ve never been a mother, so you wouldn’t understand the feelings and pains of being a mother.”
“I know Muzi is in pain now, but after all, Little Bean is still so young. She could have pretended to say something.”
“Then, have you ever thought that maybe Muzi doesn’t want to lie to him? If Muzi wasn’t able to lie to her son, then what do you think they will talk about when she talks to him? What do you think Little Bean will ask her?”
Yan was dumbfounded after hearing this as she had never considered this before.
“You’ve never considered this before, have you?” Su Jiu smiled with a faint expression. Then, she continued, “You’re still young, so you aren’t able to think both ways for a lot of things. Of course I know that Little Bean wants to see his mommy at this time. It is undeniable, but think about the events that happened to Muzi during this period and how it has impacted her. Even if you want her to pull herself together and resume to her normal self, she still needs time for that. The accident happened not long ago, so how can she be able to tell Little Bean straight in the face that something has happened to his daddy? Some words will undoubtedly feel like putting salt on the wound. Do you get what I mean?”
Yan was choked by her words. As she thought for a while, she could not think of anything to answer her. She twitched her lips and glanced at Su Jiu while looking lost. After a while, she seemed to understand her. “Then what should I do? I’ve already shown the video to her. I thought that Muzi doesn’t care about his son, so I lost my temper and said that she has gone too far.”
“It’s going to be fine. Aren’t the two of you best friends? I believe Muzi knows about this in her heart, but she doesn’t have the mood to comfort you or to explain it to you in detail. When all of the pain is gone, the two of you will feel relief when you guys talk about this again.”
Yan gazed blankly at Su Jiu. This was the first time that she felt the charm of this woman. I’ve heard that she liked Han Qing too back then, but she was never able to get his heart. After that, she married someone else, and now, she has a husband and a child. She is living a happy life.
In front of Han Qing, Su Jiu did not seem to be embarrassed. It was as if she never liked this man before. Such an excellent woman, and Han Qing didn’t even like her a single bit. Then what chance do I have for him to like me?
“What is it? You still look confused about something.”
Yan was hesitant to ask about Su Jiu’s feelings at that time and whether she confessed her feelings to Han Qing. However, she was now married, so it would not be appropriate for her to ask such a question. As such, Yan shook her head. “Nothing.”
Little girls usually were not that good at concealing their own emotions, so everything was written on their faces. Even though Yan said nothing, one could see that there was a problem with her just by the look on her face. Su Jiu was much older than Yan and treated the latter as her own sister. That was why she smiled helplessly while pulling over a chair to sit down.
“Oh you. Just say what you want to say. Don’t keep it inside of you or else it’ll be very damaging. It’s not worth it. I’m much older than you and I’ve been through a lot in my life. If you have any questions, you can just ask me. Although I won’t give you the perfect answer, I can still help you to clear your mind.” She was like a caring older sister with a warm and clear voice, giving Yan a feeling of closeness.
