Chapter 510 Daily Visits
“Maybe you’re right,” I conceded with a sigh. “I should give it a try. I just don’t know if I can find it in me to do that.”
He was right. It did feel like I had been unkind to myself by holding on to a twenty-year grudge. Perhaps I might find it less tiring if I let go.
“Good girl.” He nodded encouragingly. “I’m sure you could find it in yourself to give it a try.”
Michael’s smile returned at my declaration. He held my hand and gave me an encouraging squeeze.
I took a deep breath to steady myself. Though I did not feel happy doing it, I was determined to give it a try for I had been living in denial for too long.
No matter how hard I tried to cut off all ties with her, my blood bond with Alicia was something I could not deny. The nature of our relationship was not going to change no matter how much I blamed her for the past.
As soon as Michael and I arrived at the hospital, we hurried over to the lobby on the first floor and met Ronan who was waiting for us as he promised. He walked over as soon as he spotted us.
“It’s only been a couple of months since we last spoke, Anna.” Ronan was clearly eager to address all of the burning questions he had for me. “The next thing I hear is that your birth mother appears out of nowhere back into your life. How exactly did that happen? Did you know that you were adopted?”
Though I considered Ronan a good enough friend to tell him the truth, it was not the right time as I was worried sick for Alicia at that moment.
“We’ll talk about it another time. How is she?”
“She’s fine,” he reported, struggling to keep up with my urgent stride as he filled me in. “She just needs a few good night’s sleep and she’ll be right as rain again. Her fainting today was caused by low levels of blood sugar caused by a lack of rest and inadequate nutrition, that’s all. Nothing serious.”
“Thanks, Ronan.” An overwhelming sense of relief washed over me upon finding out that Alicia was not in as bad a shape as I had initially thought.
Soon, we arrived outside of her ward. I stood facing the closed door, hesitating if I should enter.
Michael stood behind me without saying a word. I knew that he was letting me decide for myself as he had already said his piece during the journey here. However, I knew he would hold my hand and support me no matter which path I took.
After a deep breath, I pushed the door open and strode in. Michael beamed with pride before following suit.
There were two other women in the ward aside from Alicia when I entered. Janette and their housekeeper were seated around the bed, on which lay my mother who was already awake. Her pale face indicated that the ordeal had taken a toll on her.
At the sound of the door being opened, all three women glanced over in unison before having the same look of shock registered on their faces at my appearance, especially Alicia.
“You are here, Anna!” she said with a feeble smile, struggling to sit up at the same time. “I’d thought that you wouldn’t come.”
I felt a pang of guilt at how pale her face looked. In several broad strides, I was standing next to her and pinning her gently but firmly back on her bed.
“You’re not well so you should rest.”
I did my best to sound cool and unconcerned to conceal my worry.
“It means more to me than you can ever imagine seeing you here, Anna. Thank you.”
My heart melted with the maternal warmth with which she regarded me.
I remained silent, not quite having an answer to that.
“The doctor told me that you haven’t been well of late,” I said, after clearing my throat uncomfortably. “Poor nutrition was what caused you to faint. You need to be mindful of your health.”
Despite the reassurance that her ill condition had nothing to do with me, I still could not dismiss the nagging doubt that it was all because of me. I was hoping that my constant reminders for her to take care of herself might in some way ease the weight on my shoulders.
“I already feel much better just by having you here.” Alicia gave my hand a squeeze as her voice trembled with emotion.
“I really am sorry for saying all those horrible things I did,” I admitted, in a sudden burst of vulnerability. “I know that you must have fallen ill because of me. I’ll come by every day to care for you until you are discharged.”
I hated the feeling of seeing her in pain and being reminded that my rejection had been the cause of it. That was why I declared my intention to visit her every day for the duration of her stay.
“Do you really mean it?” she asked dubiously, studying my expression as she did so.
“I’m a woman of my word. I feel responsible for what happened to you. It’s the least I could do.”
Despite what I said, my primary reason for doing so was that I did not trust anybody besides myself to care for my mother.
As I was not ready to say that, I concocted that excuse as a means to suppress how I really felt about her.
“I seem to remember that somebody was very firm about not reconciling with their mother. So much for being a woman of her word, eh? It didn’t take very long for you to go back on yours!” said Janette in a tone dripping with sarcasm.
Once again, her intense dislike toward me was made clear. I did not mind at all as the feeling was mutual. Her scorn only served to reinforce the notion of her inferiority complex toward me instead of harming my self-esteem.
“Yes, I am going back on my word. So what?”
I did not care that she was my half-sister. If we were not in a hospital for our mother’s sake, I would not even speak with her.
“You shameless b*tch!” Janette burst out, angered by my words. “You were adamant about having your way of ignoring our mother when I came to you, weren’t you? Now that I left you alone as you wanted, you invite yourself back into our lives where you’re not welcome!”
“Janette!” Alicia exclaimed, scandalized. “Anna is your sister. How could you speak to her like that?”
“I feel indignant on your behalf, Mom!” cried Janette. “Look at what happened to you! How could you be yelling at me when this is all her fault? You’ve never spoken to me this way before!”
“I’ve spoiled you,” Alicia said wearily. “You’ve become so rude and feel entitled because I didn’t set you straight. However, it’s not too late to change that. Can you please be nice to her for my sake?”
