Michael froze when he realized that I was emotional. He frowned deeply and stared at me for a long time but didn’t utter a word.
Meanwhile, I met his gaze squarely. Michael would probably think that I wanted to be with him out of sincerity or the need to get money. No matter what he thought of me, I didn’t care and only wished to vent my feelings at him at that moment.
“Anna, what do you mean when you say such things? Do you want to continue to be with me?”
Michael’s eyes were unreadable. Besides, his flat tone of voice made it difficult for me to guess if he was delighted or furious.
He used to warn me many times that we were merely friends with benefits. Also, he reminded me that I shouldn’t have any expectations nor feelings for him. However, my words clearly revealed that I was fond of him.
My heart raced because I was unsure how to answer him. I was afraid that I could hardly convince him nor myself if I told him that I wished to end our relationship. After all, I truly liked him.
I wanted to open my mouth to say something, but a sudden wave of nausea overcame me.
I couldn’t help but bend down and retched. The next moment, I quickly ran out of the office.
Given that Michael was germophobic, I could imagine that he would break down mentally if I vomited in his office.
Although everyone was looking at me, I didn’t have time to keep my grace and dashed toward the washroom hastily.
In the washroom, I stood in front of the vessel sink and retched uncontrollably. However, just like what happened in the morning, I only threw up some gastric juice.
I frowned as I looked at my pale face in the mirror. I had to admit that I did drink a lot the night before. However, since I usually had a high alcohol tolerance, I wasn’t sure why I felt so uncomfortable this time.
I continued splashing my face with some cold water in an attempt to sober myself up. Deep down, I told myself not to drink too much anymore, for I wouldn’t want to feel this amount of discomfort anymore.
I stayed in the washroom for quite some time before coming out. Knowing that Michael and I had nothing to talk about, I didn’t bother heading back to his office. Moreover, I wasn’t obliged to answer any of his questions.
As I returned to my desk, I saw Michael standing at the door and staring at me as if he wanted to scrutinize me.
Although I didn’t know what was on his mind, I avoided his gaze, pretending that I didn’t see him. After all, his attitude toward me earlier on revealed that there was nothing to talk about between us.
“What’s wrong, Anna? You don’t look well. Are you sick?” Millie, who stood in front of me, asked me with concern in her tone the moment she saw how pale I looked.
I still felt waves of nausea while sitting at my desk; nonetheless, I was a lot better than just now.
“I’m alright. My stomach just feels slightly uncomfortable. I threw up in the washroom just now,” I explained weakly and flashed her a smile as a gesture to thank her for her kindness.
“Hmm, could it be that you’re pregnant? I have a friend who just got pregnant, and she looks just like you now,” Millie stated as she looked at me curiously.
Meanwhile, my heart skipped a beat upon hearing it. My mind went blank, for I had never thought about the possibility of being pregnant.
My period came a day later this month. Nonetheless, since I had had irregular periods, I never thought about pregnancy.
Despite Millie’s reminder, I could hardly believe that I was pregnant.
“I don’t think so. I think my body simply can’t take the amount of alcohol I drank last night. Anyway, I’ll feel better when I have some pills at home later.”
I flashed Millie a stiff smile and denied her casual suggestion of the possibility of pregnancy.
“Alright. I initially thought you would have good news coming your way. Now I realize that you drank too much last night.”
Millie looked somehow disappointed after listening to my explanation. After that, she lowered her head and proceeded with her work silently.
Meanwhile, I felt uneasy and worried that the woman was right about it.
After all, I had never prepared myself mentally for pregnancy and would be clueless on how to proceed from that point in my life if it was true.
As I lowered my head frustratedly, my mind was in turmoil as it repeatedly played Millie’s words.
Besides, Michael had probably heard our conversation because he was still standing at the door of his office.
Nonetheless, I deliberately ignored his gaze the entire time I was at work.
After getting off work, I bought some pregnancy test kits from a pharmacy. Since many people said pregnancy test kits weren’t 100% accurate, I decided to buy a few kits to check more than once.
The first thing I did after I got home was rushing into the washroom to do the test.
When the first red line appeared, I was nervous and kept staring at the rising liquid.
Deep down, I was praying to God that I wasn’t pregnant.
Unfortunately, things didn’t go as I wished because a faint second line soon appeared. My heart sank instantly at the sight of it.
I’m really pregnant…
Since I had never thought about such a possibility before, I was anxious and clueless about what I ought to do next.
I had never experienced abortion. Also, I grew scared at the thought of thought going infertile; many people had become infertile after undergoing such a procedure.
After a moment, I took a deep breath to calm myself down. Since it was only the first test, I told myself that the result was possibly inaccurate.
With that remaining hope in mind, I took the rest of the test kits and tried them one by one.
However, the results were all consistent—I was really pregnant.
Each test kit had two red lines — one was clear, while the other was faint.
Once all the test kits showed two lines, my last hope was shattered.
Needless to say, I was a 100% pregnant.
What should I do now…
I had never experienced such a dilemma before. I now carried Michael’s baby, but our relationship had long ago ended.
If I gave birth to the baby, it would mean that I had conceived a child out of wedlock. I knew I would feel a wave of shame about myself, and my parents would probably drive me out of the house out of anger.
Hence, the only thought I had was to get an abortion.
Since I couldn’t keep the baby, it was the only way out. After all, I wouldn’t be able to stand it when people talked ill of me if I had indeed conceived a baby out of wedlock.
I took my phone out with shivering hands and scrolled through it, looking for Michael’s number in my contact list. The fear of getting an abortion was overwhelming, so I hoped he could accompany me to the hospital. I needed him to provide me with some kind of support.
