When Ronan noticed me ignoring him, an annoyed look crept onto his face, and he yelled, “Anna, what kind of response is that? I’m talking to you!”
I frowned as my mood soured. I was not in the mood to fight with him. All I wanted was some peace.
“What happened to you? Why did you ignore me? Have I offended you in any way?”
Ronan asked as he stuck he head out of the window. He could sense that I was not being myself.
“You didn’t make me mad. I just want to have some time alone. Don’t follow me,” I uttered without sparing him a glance.
Then, I quickened my pace.
In the past, Ronan would insist on following me, but to my surprise, he listened to me. It made me relax.
Soon, I came to a river and sat there alone. It was spacious and quiet, which was exactly what I wanted. I did not want to say nor do anything.
After I heard about Michael’s engagement, it felt like someone had stuck their hand into my chest and dug my heart out. I felt hollow on the inside.
I sat there for what seemed like ages. The sky gradually darkened, but I still did not want to go home. That was a place that harbored the memories of Michael and me, so it would only make me suffer.
Once he was engaged with Emma, I would not even have the right to even fantasize about being with him anymore. Therefore, I had to learn to control myself.
At some point, Ronan appeared and came to sit by my side.
“What happened? You seem upset,” he asked.
“He’s getting engaged this week,” I murmured as I stared at the surface of the river. It felt as if it was a reply to Ronan and a reminder to myself too.
Ronan turned around to look at me. He kept quiet, but I could see the sadness he felt for me in his eyes.
“Do you know that I was really upset when I heard that he was getting engaged earlier today?”
My eyes remained fixed to the front. It did not matter to me if Ronan would reply. To me, he was just a listener. Perhaps I would feel better after telling him the things that were bothering me.
He sighed. Then, he reached out to pull me into his arms.
“Remember that you have me no matter what. I won’t ever hurt you or make you sad.”
The determined way he said that was as if he was promising me something.
I did not know whether he was comforting me or he meant what he said but those words made my heart shudder. I was really touched.
“If only he were you…”
I thought I was strong. Not a single tear had escaped from my eyes when I heard about Michael’s engagement. Yet, my tears started falling upon hearing Ronan’s words.
“If only he were you…”
In that period of time, I could sense that Ronan’s feelings for me were genuine. Moreover, he had done so much for me. I was truly moved by him, but he was not Michael.
If Michael were him, I would’ve been the happiest person on earth, wouldn’t I?
However, the words I said hurt Ronan instead. Right as they left my lips, I could sense him tensing up as a disappointed look flashed past his face.
It was as clear as day how important Michael was to me from those words.
“I wish I were him too. That way, the one you love would be me, not the man who’s always making you sad.”
Every time I talked to Ronan, it was because Michael made me upset. I had been venting to him without considering his feelings. As it turned out, I, too, was a selfish person.
I knew Ronan had feelings for him, but I still continued to tell him about the other man I love. I guessed he must have felt sad every time he listened to me.
“Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that earlier. You’re who you are, you’re an excellent person too,” I hastily apologized when I realized my words might have hurt him.
Although I wanted to pour out my feelings, I did not want to upset the other person when I did that.
“So what if I’m excellent? I still can’t catch your attention.”
Ronan was unfazed by my praise. Normally, my praise would have made his day. Yet, he remained calm.
“You’re important to me, but I don’t like you romantically. Ronan, you’re someone who cares about me.”
Then, I hugged him. Other than Natalie, Ronan was probably another one of my best friend. He was a ray of sunshine, bringing warmth and light into my life.
“That’s enough. Can you not continue saying those words that’ll break my heart? I’ve heard them thousands of times by now,” Ronan interrupted frustratedly when he heard me clarifying our relationship.
I knew he did not like what I said, but it was the truth. He had to realize that we were not compatible. Hopefully, he would not keep sacrificing himself for me.
In the past, I would have been adamant about continuing the topic. However, I was not in the mood to talk about us.
We were silent for a long time. In the end, Ronan was the one who broke the silence.
“It is a beautiful night, and this place is quiet. Why don’t we have a drink?”
“A drink? Where would we get that?”
A drink was exactly what I wanted, but getting it would seem difficult in a place like this.
“I knew you were in a bad mood, so I’ve bought some drinks on my way here. It’s in the trunk. I’ll get it.”
It was not long since I knew Ronan, but it was as if he knew me so well. He was able to guess what I wanted to say.
“Quite the preparation. Go ahead. I’ll wait for you here,” I said after giving him a small smile.
Right as I thought Ronan would let me go and head to his car, he abruptly pecked a kiss on my forehead.
At that, my heart skipped a beat. For a moment, I was in a daze.
