When one had been lonely for far too long, they would be afraid of the kindness being shown to them by others. Christopher had been too warm and too nice to me. Although I kept rejecting his kindness out of fear, a little part of me still longed for the warmth. People would probably snort at my actions if they knew my true thoughts.
After all, there was no such thing as unconditional love in this world. My heart was still holding on to Lyle. Who was I to hope that another man would give me his whole heart?
However, I still yearned to hang on to that little warmth. I took in my surroundings and realized I was in my own home. A home that Christopher had prepared for me. There was no one around except for the two of us. I sat up and placed a gentle kiss on his lips before quickly backing away.
“You must be furious at me, right, Christopher? After all, I was stupid enough to save Lyle at the expense of my own life. And yet, he abandoned me so easily, walking away from me as if nothing happened. Even I am angry at myself. I’m such a disappointment. No wonder I’m hated. But now, I’m scared. I’m scared that you’ll hate me too…” I mumbled groggily.
“In my twenty years of life, you were the first person who was so good to me aside from my mom. You know, Christopher, sometimes I feel that you like me, but I’m not sure if I can trust that feeling,” I continued.
“I no longer am brave enough to love again. If… Just if… you have even a smidge of feelings for me, could you… Once I have settled my divorce with Lyle if you still want me, can I stay by your side? Once you find yourself a wife and get married, I promise I’ll leave. Is that ok?”
I poured out all my emotions in one breath. As I was talking, even I was surprised by how much the man in front of me meant to me. I wanted so badly for him to continue being good to me, to the extent that I was willing to stay by his side for as long as he was a bachelor.
I had no idea whether or not I would be heartbroken once he got married, but one thing was for sure. I would not be involved with him once he got married. As a wife who found out her husband cheated on her, I could not wish that heartache on any other woman.
Women should support other women, or at the very least, I promised myself I would not become someone I despised the most.
Perhaps it was the warmth of his embrace, but it was not long before I started dozing off again. In my drowsy state, I seemed to hear someone talking.
“Such an idiot. You’re not just stupid. You’re so stupid that you make others worried. The pursuit of a wife sure is hard. Don’t even think about leaving me once I was married. You’re not going anywhere once I marry you. Even if you do, you’ll only be taking me with you, dumdum!”
A sigh ensued. “What am I going to do with you? That was such a heavy chandelier. The consequences didn’t even cross your mind as you rushed forward to save him, did it? What if it crashed on your head? You’re lucky I still want you. You used to be so sharp, so why have you gotten so dumb? Remember when you were the thirteen-year-old girl who outsmarted the gangsters and saved us all? You’ve caught my eye since then…”
His voice started trailing off into a hum as I slowly slipped away, eventually falling asleep. By the time I opened my eyes once again, the sun had long risen. I struggled to sit up. My head felt heavy as if I was going to topple over anytime.
“Don’t move. The pillow will be at an awkward angle, and you’ll suffer when you get the drip infusion if you do. I don’t want your teeth on my arm when you cry out in pain.” Sabrina quickly supported me as I got up, sliding a cushion behind my back.
I blinked at her in confusion before looking around in search of Christopher, but he was nowhere in sight. I would be lying if I said I was not disappointed. Seeing my disappointment, Sabrina pouted. “Can’t believe you’re so upset to see me. If it weren’t for me taking care of you without sleep the entire night, you would be lying here alone.”
Was all that a dream? Although disappointed, I quickly apologized to her. She was right. If it weren’t for her, I would have woken up with no one except myself. I gestured to the needle on the back of my right hand. “What happened?”
