I was dumbstruck at once. I never once thought Monica would go on her knees and say something like this. I was dying, and there was no point trying to separate me from Christopher anymore.
“What do you mean, Ms. Martin?”
“I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t be saying this, but I really don’t want to see Chris devastated. He will really lose it if he sees you like this when he wakes up fully.”
“Ms. Martin, you know I only have three months left. Christopher is my husband. I should spend my remaining days with him. Who are you to stop me from seeing him?” My body stiffened as I questioned her unreservedly.
“Are you depriving me of the chance to spend my last days with the man I love?” I asked harshly.
“No! That’s not what I mean…” Monica asserted as she cried, “You know how much he loves you. He will be over the moon to see you tomorrow, but he will plunge into the deepest abyss when he sees you in this state. This is just too cruel for him.”
She looked at me intently and moved closer. “Do you know why I hate you so much after I saw you and him together? Given your reputation and family background, there’s no reason for me to be jealous of you. I’m better than you in all regards, but I know Chris well. He’s someone who doesn’t change his mind once he has decided on something. Nothing can ever sway him. I can imagine how broken he will be when he knows you’re about to leave forever.”
Monica held on to my hand beseechingly. “You can hate me, or even hit me. I don’t care, but please, don’t go and see Chris anymore. This is me begging you. This will be too much for him.”
“Do you know what you’re asking for, Ms. Martin? This is the cruelest request you can make. Christopher is the only thing I’m living for now.”
I sat motionless as her words resounded in my head. Indeed, there was a kernel of truth in what she said. Christopher would be over the moon when he saw me, but I could imagine his despair when he found out about my disease.
Losing hope once was bearable, but holding on to hope only to lose it again would be crippling. I had experienced it myself, and I almost went crazy. There was no way I wanted Christopher to go through the same thing.
“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…” Monica was disconcerted as she looked at the dejection on my face. “It’s all my fault. I care too much for Chris. I would fight you for his love on level ground if you were all healthy and well. I would gladly take you as an equal rival. Who knows, we might even become friends. You’re a good-natured person, Yvonne, and I know we would be good friends if we met at a better time, but please, could you spare Chris?”
I shook my head in determination. “No. I’m not leaving Christopher. I promised I would die with him. I promised him we would face everything together. Please, don’t make me do this!”
What she said zapped me like a lightning. I shook my head in denial and shouted at the top of my lungs, “Get out, Monica Martin! Get out! You care for Christopher, but so what? I’m the person he loves! Not you!”
I completely lost it and lambasted her, “I only have three months left. I will have Christopher with me for only three months. You can do whatever you want with him after that! You can marry him, and you guys can a family together. Why can’t you leave me alone? Get out! Now!”
I grabbed the pillow beside me and lunged it at her. Monica knelt on the ground, unmoving even when the pillow hit her. She apologized over and over to me as I shouted in a frenzy. I lifted my hand and swept across the table, sending the tray and cups flying across the room.
“I will die with Christopher. I will never leave him!”
