After crying for so long and talking to Christopher for a while, I continued zoning out with the paintbrush in hand as all my emotions clouded my mind. I almost jumped out of my skin when I looked up and saw Sabrina’s face in front of me.
“Earth to Yvonne! I’ve been here for ages, so don’t tell me you forgot I was here,” Sabrina said huffily with her hands on her hips, looking like an interrogator.
I giggled and scratched my head sheepishly. “Of course not. I just got a little overwhelmed.”
Sabrina took the paintbrush from me and played around with it. When she accidentally dropped it, I picked it up tenderly and said, “Be careful. Don’t break these before I even get a chance to use them.”
“These are just normal brushes, aren’t they? Are you thinking of becoming an artist?” Sabrina chuckled. “I see how it is. You would probably treasure a piece of tissue paper if it was from Christopher.”
Sabrina and I met in college when both of us were fighting for our futures, so she had no clue that I could draw. I also didn’t plan on telling her.
It started feeling like my little secret. If Christopher knew, then it could be our little secret.
“It’s not just because of that! These are good brushes.” I blew off the dust on the bristles slightly, despite the brush still being speck-free. I felt as if I had gotten a set of new babies.
“Who was the one who said she wanted nothing to do with Christopher? I really wonder who that could be,” Sabrina said teasingly.
“Yeah, who would say such a thing? Come out so I can beat you up!” I said, playing along.
I continued zoning out with the paintbrush in hand for the whole afternoon. There were so many people in the world who had to let go of their dreams in exchange for the harshness of reality, and I was one of them.
I did think of painting throughout my university years, but after getting married to Lyle, I threw all that to the back of my mind.
What else did I lose during that cage of a marriage? I wondered. Perhaps I threw everything else that made me who I was away, too.
I opened a messaging app and looked at the grey profile picture under the name ‘Key’. I remembered adding him as a friend in high school.
Key was always extremely understanding and kind. I never got to know his gender, but he was a great conversationalist and was always ready to listen to me when I needed to rant.
I painted Autumnal Panorama in my last year of high school. After what happened after that painting, I tried to find Key relentlessly so he could give me advice. Sadly, I never found Key again.
I didn’t know where Key went, but I continued sending messages to the account every time I got wronged or beaten down. I even told them everything about Lyle.
Now that I had a paintbrush in my hands again, I felt like telling Key about it.
I sent a message. ‘I think luck has been on my side recently. I got to know someone and he means the world to me. If I were to pick up a paintbrush again, do you think I could finally fulfill my future?’
I was used to waiting for a reply that never came, so I continued to type another text when a new message suddenly appeared onscreen.
Key: ‘Your future is something you need to fight for. Don’t get used to waiting. It’s not good to always wait for something to happen. If you have the chance, you might as well try again.”
My heart leaped in my chest. After four years of university and half a year of being married, I stopped sending messages to Key. Now that I got a reply, it felt like I was dreaming.
I sent the text I was originally going to send after that. ‘What do you think a pair of eyes that shed no tears look like?’
Key replied almost instantly. ‘Why don’t you draw the most beautiful pair of eyes you’ve ever seen? That’s a pair of eyes that you won’t shed tears over.’
The moment I read that message, I thought of Christopher’s deep yet lively eyes. His gaze was like a beacon that shone through my fog of grief and lit up my life.
I chuckled and replied: Thank you, Key. I would love to draw your eyes one day. I’m sure they’re absolutely stunning.
Despite meeting Key online, he was an important part of my life. Without him, I might never have gotten closure about all those things and I wouldn’t have had someone who listened to me.
Have you been well? I texted.
Key: I wasn’t too well a while back, but now I think happiness isn’t too far off for me.
I replied: Same goes for me too. I’m glad we’re both doing well.
