I could lie to anyone in this world, but the only person I don’t want to lie to is Christopher. He was the first person who had treated me with kindness. Even though he’s two years younger than me and would sometimes behave like a boy trying to get his way, he has always tried his best to treat me well, adore me and protect me.
“I want you, no matter how you are. Eve, look at me.” Christopher held my chin so that I would meet his gaze. “You’re the only woman that I want in my life.”
I stared into his eyes. They were like the deep sea glittering with starlights, pulling me in. Sincerity was evident in his facial expression as he gazed at me, willing me to believe his words.
“But, what if I don’t want you anymore? I feel soiled.” I raised my head and let the tears fall from the corner of my eyes. I’m grateful that there’s a man in this world who is willing to accompany me even at this moment.
“It doesn’t matter. You’re the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.” Christopher sighed and placed me on the bed. “You’re not emotionally stable right now. Get some sleep first, and we’ll talk after you wake up.”
“Will you stay here with me?” I asked.
“Yes, I’ll be right here with you.” Christopher peppered kisses on my clenched fist as he held it in his hands.
I was exhausted from all the crying and the emotional beat down. I had thought that sleep would evade me that night. Yet, as I lay on his chest listening to his strong heartbeat, I soon fell sound asleep.
A nightmare haunted my dreams. It was more frightening than the time Lyle had tried to drown me. I saw myself lying naked in the hotel surrounded by many men. They were laughing sinisterly and were slowly approaching me.
I screamed as I sat up. Surrounded by Christopher’s comforting warmth and scent, I realized it was merely a nightmare. I turned and silently cried into his chest.
Crying was the weakest and most useless thing a person could do. However, crying was all I could do at that moment.
“You’re crying again. You didn’t even shed a tear when you suffered a burn. So why are you crying even though you’re in my arms now?” Christopher rubbed his face against mine as he tried to comfort me.
I wriggled in his embrace, trying to find a comfortable spot. “Christopher, I had a nightmare again, but it felt so real this time. Perhaps it wasn’t a dream, but a memory. What am I going to do?”
“Can you tell me?” Christopher gently asked.
“If I told you, you would be disgusted with me as well…” Pausing for a moment, I shut my eyes and finally told him everything about Crystal’s conversation with Lyle. “When I got together with you, I never thought that it was a loss being never able to give you my first time since I had known Lyle first, and even got married to him. But now… when I thought about how I had given my purity to someone that I don’t even know, how could I ask you to be with me?
“The woman that you have chosen has slept with multiple men,” I stated the harsh truth. As I waited for Christopher’s reply, I felt anxious, but at the same time, I felt a sense of relief. He had treated me well, so I want to repay him as such.
Nonetheless, I don’t think I’m qualified to treat him right. Even I would be disgusted by myself. I doubt there are any women who could overcome such an experience…
I couldn’t take the silence anymore, so I raised my head and glanced at him. There was no surprise or disgust written on his face. Instead, he was giving me a weird look. He held my face and said softly, “What if I tell you that the man who slept with you that night was me. Will you believe me?”
I burst out laughing with tears still streaming down my cheeks. “I would say that you’re lying, for there’s no way such a coincidence could exist…”
“But it’s true!” Christopher said in all seriousness, gazing at me intently.
“No, you don’t have to comfort me. The fact remains that I am just a dirty woman. Lyle had called me a slut, and he was right.” I shook my head. Christopher was willing to lie to me to give me peace of mind, but I didn’t want to pretend nothing had happened.
