I walked briskly down the hallway, receiving some odd looks from the guests gathered for tea. Ignoring them, I bumped into Zachary when I took a turn.
He noticed my bad mood and asked for the reason behind it. I simply kept my silence and ran back to my room. Once the door was shut, the dam that contains my emotions broke immediately. Despair gripped me as I wondered why in hell would they treat me this way.
The agony and anguish that I kept bottled up started to form a web around my heart. As it constricted, it stabbed into my heart, shattering it into a bloody mess.
The man that I had a crush on for ten years and the two years of marriage we shared… do they mean nothing at all?
At this point, it can’t even be considered as a joke.
To keep his promise to Crystal, he would rather touch another woman than me. He even left me in the hotel when I was drugged.
Coldness started creeping into my body. I covered myself with a blanket to ward off the chill, but I could still feel it.
My gaze dropped upon a knife. The thought of killing myself crossed my mind. Feeling dirty and disgusted by myself, I kept rubbing my arms, hoping to get the non-existent dirt off me. Will Christopher still want me if he knew I wasn’t touched by Lyle but by some random man?
The negative feelings and oppressive thoughts were taking possession of my brain. I unconsciously approached the table, picked up the knife, and placed the sharp edge over my wrist. If I slit it open, will my suffering end?
I exerted a little pressure over the knife, feeling the sharpness and coldness biting into my wrist. Just a bit more pressure and blood would spill.
Now that I think back, my whole life was depressing. My mother abandoned me, and my father never loved me. And after all the bullying and humiliation I’ve been through, I found out that the only person who had treated me well was merely using me. Now, I’m even getting my dignity trampled by a pair of adulterers. Why am I even alive?
“What are you doing?” A hand seized the knife.
Raising my head, I stared blankly at Christopher and started to struggle violently against him. “Let go! Let go of me!”
“Eve, look at me. It’s me, Christopher.” A look of horror was plastered on Christopher’s face as he pulled me into a tight embrace while using his other hand to grab the knife tightly.
“Go away! Just leave me alone! I’m unworthy of you. Please don’t ever look for me again. Let me be alone.”
The last shred of rationale left me, and all I wanted was to end my life. How could I even face him when I’m so filthy? I snatched the knife back and was ready to slide it over my wrist.
Christopher tightened his grip over the knife, cutting his palm open. When blood started to pour out, I was stunned and rooted in place, simply staring at his bloody palm.
To think that such a perfect-looking hand was now cut and oozing blood just because the owner didn’t want me hurt got me feeling even more pain. He cared so deeply for me, yet every time I thought about my defiled body, I just wanted to end my life.
Christopher noticed the crazed look in my eyes. He raised his hand and slapped me across the face. It was the first time he had ever hit me. It hurt, but it managed to snap some senses back into me, leaving me standing there dazedly.
Christopher hesitantly coaxed, “Let go of the knife, Eve. My hand hurts. I don’t think you would want to see my fingers get severed, do you?”
Shocked by his words, I released the knife, and Christopher immediately threw it in the bathroom. He pulled me into his arms and comforted me. “Don’t be scared. Tell me what happened. Eve, you have me. I’ll always be with you, so you don’t ever have to be afraid. Understand?”
His comforting words were the last punch to my crumbling walls. I broke down in his arms. After a while, I pushed him away. “Don’t touch me. I’m filthy. So filthy.”
“No, you’re not. To me, you’re the purest.” Christopher had no idea what I was saying, yet he tried his best to calm me down by pulling me into his embrace again.
“No, you don’t understand. You don’t know how filthy I am. Multiple men had defiled me when Lyle left me in the hotel. How can you still want me when I’m so dirty?”
