#Chapter 89 – Jealousy
Sinclair
“I’m not jealous!” Ella explodes, almost as soon as the question left my mouth. Her heart is pounding in her chest, so fast and loud that I wouldn’t be able to tune it out if I tried. Her cheeks are consumed by a crimson blush, and my wolf is already celebrating in my head. She’s jealous! She has feelings! She knows she’s mine! Mine, mine, mine!
He has a point. Ella is not a good liar, and though she may be able to disguise her feelings under usual circumstances, her emotions are much too turbulent to allow that now. She sounded about as believable as a fox caught breaking into a henhouse, insisting it only wanted to look at the tasty morsels inside.
I arch my brow skeptically and, seeming to realize how defensive she just sounded, Ella takes a deep breath and tries again. “I’m not jealous.” She repeats, and though she does sound more convincing now, her body is still betraying her. Her color is still so high, and her heart is still racing. “I’m angry because you lied to me.”
I know I should correct her right here and now, explain exactly what happened last night whether she wants to hear it or not. But my inner hunter knows I’m onto something, and there’s no turning off my prey drive. “Then you don’t care whether I sleep with other she- wolves, as long as I’m honest about it?”
Her plump, pink lip – still stained with blood – trembles dangerously, and her voice sounds suddenly tight. “That’s right.”
Liar, liar, pants on fire! My wolf chants, running triumphant laps through my consciousness. He’s zooming around like a puppy, though I can’t let Ella see how excited I am. As thrilling as this revelation is, she is lying to me. I might be able to forgive that since I know she’s trying to protect her tender heart, but forgiveness doesn’t mean acceptance. “Are you being honest with me, little human?” I rumble, pinning her with a stern glower.
Ella’s luminous gold eyes widen and her lips part on a startled gasp. I can see her preparing to answer me, to tell me another falsehood, but before she can say yes, she seems to realize how hypocritical the question is. “Why should I have to be honest when you aren’t!?” She demands fiercely.
“Ella “I growl, a clear warning.
“No! You’ve kept things from me over and over again in the name of protecting me, and you went back to your ex after promising that there was nothing between you.” She accuses. “Last night probably wasn’t even the first time! How long have you been sneaking around with her, Dominic? Has everything that’s happened since I got pregnant been some scheme you two orchestrated to get an heir and win the campaign? Did you arrange the switch at the sperm bank to send all this into motion? What are you planning once the baby comes? Are you just going to steal my child and kick me to the curb?”
I reel back, shocked by the depth of her mistrust. My wolf’s jubilance over her jealousy disappears immediately. He whimpers pitifully, devastated to see her so miserable – so undone by fear and betrayal. No, this isn’t right! Fix it!
She can’t honestly believe any of those things are true, can she? Are these tears that have been
building up in her all along? Or is she simply spiraling because of the perceived lie? She’s had trust issues from the day we met, and it pains me to think she might have been tormented by such paranoia, but I could also understand how her baggage might turn one trigger into this maelstrom. I want to tell Ella these ideas are absurd, I want to insist that she’d have to be mad to believe these things, but I know that won’t help anything.
“Ella.” I say firmly, “Look at me.”
“I don’t want to.” She snaps, stubbornly turning her head away from me.
“I’m not asking.” I clarify severely, waiting for the power in my voice to do its work. Slowly she obeys, turning her head back and lifting her blazing, terrified eyes to mine. I press my hand to her belly, letting her feel the solid weight, praying my warmth will bleed through her skin and into her bones. “I didn’t lie to you, Ella.” I state evenly, “I know you don’t want to talk about it, but ”
To my amazement, flames blaze to life behind Ella’s eyes, and she slams her hands over her ears, glaring at me with so much hurt and animosity that the gesture no longer seems childish. A world of pain and betrayal swirls in her brilliant irises, and I remember that she’s not only a woman who’s been deeply scarred by her past, but also one who is battling a thousand raging hormones. Exhaling heavily, I remove my palm from her tummy in order to pull her hands away from her ears. As soon as I do, her eyes fill with tears, and I realize how afraid she is of having her fears confirmed.
“I didn’t lie to you.” I repeat, deciding that this will have to do for now. “When you’re ready to listen to me, I’ll explain everything, but right now I need you to know that everything that has happened since we met has been completely real. I didn’t have anything to do with the switch at the sperm bank, and I was just as shocked by it as you were. Sweetheart, you remember how angry and unreasonable I was at the time.” I remind her, biting back a smile. “I couldn’t fake that if I tried, nor is it how any sane human would act if they wanted to draw someone into a trap.” I forge on. “I am not, under any circumstances, going to keep Rafe from you. He came from each of us, and he belongs with each of us. I know I hid some things from you, but I haven’t ever deceived you about my feelings, and I haven’t been sneaking around with Lydia or anyone else.”
Little by little, my words sink in. I can see the change in Ella’s posture as she slowly deflates, unwinding the tension from her muscles with every sentence I complete. Of course, the more she unwinds, the closer she comes to falling apart. Soon her tears are falling freely, and she looks utterly ashamed of herself. “I’m sorry, I know I’m being crazy.” She hiccups. “I don’t even know why I said those things. I think I’m losing it.”
“Jealousy can do that to a person.” I tease gently, reflexively pulling her closer, trying to draw her into my lap.
Ella’s little body goes stiff with outrage, and she pushes my hands away. “I’m not jealous!” She repeats, though her exclamation sounds more like a whimper now.
“Tsk, of course not.” I sympathize, overwhelming her struggles and scooping her up. She doesn’t come easily, but I gradually trap her defiant limbs until she’s completely bound in my arms. I purr softly, and though I know she doesn’t want to submit, soon I feel her tearstained face pressing into the curve of my neck, and her pert nose breathing in my scent. “Though it’s too bad.”
“Why?” Ella demands grumpily, sniffling as she snuggles closer. Petulant as she’s feeling, she
leans into my touch as I pet her disgruntled form and nuzzle her hair. Her delicious aroma fills my senses, and I feel like I can breathe for first time all morning. Goddess I needed this. When I realized she was missing this morning, I’d panicked completely. Not only because I feared for her safety, hating the idea of her being unprotected in a city full of wolves, but also because I was afraid that Lydia had broken something in our relationship for good.
When I found Ella at her sister’s, furious and lashing out at me like a hellcat, I realized there was still hope. She wouldn’t be so upset if she didn’t care, but I also hated seeing her so unhappy. My wolf wouldn’t be calmed until she was safe in my arms again, not attacking me anymore, but seeking my comfort. Yes, this is the way it’s meant to be.
“Because of what it would mean if you were jealous.” I murmur, finally answering her.
“That I’m a fool.” She suggests bitterly, making me shake my head in exasperation.
“That you have feelings for me.” I correct, letting some of my own feelings seep into my tone. My hope and desire, the passion that takes all my effort to contain whenever we’re together.
“Oh I’m sure you’d love that.” She mutters mutinously. “The big bad Alpha needs all the women to fall at his feet whether he wants them or not. How amusing for the hopeless little human to ”
Before she can continue, I shut her up – claiming her mouth with my own and stealing her ability to speak another word.
