Accidental Surrogate for Alpha Chapter 87#Chapter 87 – Ella Runs Away
Ella
“Goddess, Cora, what’s wrong with me?” I moan, burying my head in my hands. “I’ve been thinking Sinclair is too good to be true all along. There cannot be a bigger red flag and I just ignored it. I let him love bomb me and I bought every manipulative word out of his mouth.” I’m seated in my sister’s living room, rocking back and forth in my seat while she looks on anxiously. After I received Sinclair’s text last night, I didn’t waste any time getting out of his house. I went out onto my balcony and waited until the patrolling guards passed by, then climbed down the trellis and out the back gate. There was a vicious thunderstorm roiling at the time, but I barely noticed. I ran through the pouring rain, not stopping until I reached Cora’s apartment.
In hindsight I’m sure I scared her half to death – turning up on her doorstep in the middle of the night, looking like a drowned rat. Nonetheless, she immediately ushered me in and got me a change of dry clothes and a cup of hot tea, but I wasn’t calm enough to actually explain what happened until this morning.
“Ella just slow down, I didn’t think anything had even happened between you two?” Cora asks, watching me with obvious concern.
“I mean, nothing huge.” I clarify. “We’ve flirted and kissed and fooled around a bit… and I’ve insisted that things not go any further. At least, I had enough sense to ensure we didn’t start an actual relationship.”
“And he agreed? You said no and he didn’t push you?” Cora presses.
“Yeah, I mean it’s been hard because we’re attracted to each other, but he’s been trying to respect my wishes.”
“Then how can he have love bombed you?” She inquires, looking confused.
*[ guess that’s the wrong expression.” I concede. “It’s just, you should hear the way he talks to me, and the way he behaves. He’s so affectionate and warm that I got completely lulled into complacency. He just lavishes attention and compliments, and he actually listens and takes criticism. He takes my thoughts and opinions into account, and he has this silly side where he can be so fun and playful, but at the same time he doesn’t let me get away with murder. He calls me on my shit and holds me accountable. Like I said, he’s just too good to be true.”
Cora is frowning deeply, keeping her expression guarded while she processes my words. “Ella
“What? Why are you looking at me that way?” I burst, instantly regretting my sharp tone. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped at you…” Suddenly I want to cry. “I didn’t mean it. I’m just really out of sorts.”
“i know, honey.” She murmurs, her brows furrowing in sympathy. “And don’t take this the wrong way, but none of that sounds very bad. I mean, it’s not like he’s pretending to be this perfect person. You two started off on terrible footing. Terrible.” She repeats for emphasis. He thought you were a gold digger and was going to separate you from your child. You had to learn to get along, and sure that happened fast once you decided to trust each other, but… I’m sorry Ella, but it honestly just sounds like you like each other.” She leans forward, resting her
elbows on her knees and sending me serious therapist vibes. “Is it possible that you are so used to assholes like Mike, that you assume being treated well is evidence of some sort of trick?”
It takes me a moment to absorb that. Is she right? Am I so unused to receiving genuine affection and compliments that I somehow mistook them for Sinclair grooming me for abuse? Even as I think this, I recall the other things that have happened between us. “That’s not all.” I confess, blushing scarlet. “Yes he’s affectionate and that feels strange to me, but he’s also bossy and domineering. He always expects to be in charge.”
“Of course he is, he’s an Alpha.” Cora remarks blithely.
“But, I mean, in charge in… well, I mean…”
Cora rolls her eyes. “Ella, stop beating around the bush, just tell me what happened.”
“It’s just that he doesn’t stop at giving orders, he holds me to them.” I confess. “Once, even spanked me.”
“Okay.” Cora responds, looking as though she’s waiting for me to say more.
he
“After the attack on the wild hunt.” I explain, offering the information freely now. “I mean… I slapped him first and he said all this crap about catharsis, but I didn’t even question it because he said it was normal with shifter couples.”
“You slapped Dominic Sinclair?” Cora gapes.
“He was annoying me!” I defend hotly. “He kept saying I should stay home and rest but I wasn’t about to let that foul prince win.”
“So let me get this straight…” Cora begins, clearly struggling to wrap her mind about this. You were in shock, being obstinate and refusing to take care of yourself, then you attacked him and he responded the way that any wolf would?”
“Basically.” I grimace, rubbing the back of my neck.
“Did he injure you?” She inquires, “Traumatize you?”
“No.” I’m blushing again. “It hurt, but it brought me out of my shock and it really did help me to cry… plus, well I was really turned on afterward.” I whisper, unable to believe I’m actually sharing this part.
Cora chuckles. “So what’s the problem?”
“You don’t find that strange!?” I exclaim.
“Ella, I’ve been around shifters a lot longer than you have.” Cora explains, sighing as though she’s not sure how to make me understand. “Power dynamics are a big part of their culture and from a scientific perspective it makes perfect sense. Dominance means strength and strength means survival. And if you liked it, who cares whether or not other people think it’s strange. You’d hardly be the only human who’s ever wanted that from a partner.
“I didn’t say I liked it.” I object. “Just that it helped me…and turned me on… and I did like feeling how in control he was when I was beside myself.”
“Do you want him to do it again?” She asks, grinning mischievously now.
I throw a pillow at her, laughing with faux outrage. I’m only just coming to terms with the fact that I do want to be with Sinclair that way again, when I remember why I’m here unloading all
this on my sister in the first place. My mood dampens almost immediately. “What I want doesn’t matter.”
Cora purses her lips, “Okay, so you haven’t been love bombed, and he hasn’t been mistreating you, and you don’t want a relationship, right?”
‘Right.” I confirm, thankful that we worked through all this, but suddenly anticipating Cora’s next question.
“Then Ella, why are you so upset about Lydia?” She asks. “You told him point blank that you don’t want to be with him and you agreed to step aside if he finds a new mate from the beginning. I know you weren’t expecting it to be Lydia, but… so what if it is?”
“Because it means he lied to me.” I explain miserably. “It means he’s been lying to me about her for months, and that Roger was right about him running back to her at the first opportunity.”
“Are you sure they were lies?” Cora counters. “Do you think it’s possible he believed what he was telling you at the time, and then changed his mind? We all have blind spots when it comes to our exes. He wouldn’t be the first person to convince himself he hated his former partner to try and protect himself from getting hurt again.”
I shrug, suddenly doubting myself. “I don’t know. He certainly seemed to mean what he was saying at the time, but he’s also a politician, he’s bound to be a good liar.” 1
“He’s an Alpha, not a politician. And he also has the campaign to think about, he might have been resisting her for his sake and the pack’s at once.” Cora suggests.
“Maybe,” I acknowledge, hating how logical this sounds. The longer we talk I’m slowly losing my justifications for being so upset, but I still feel as if my world has come crashing down around me.
“Ella?” Cora calls my attention to her lovely face. Immediately I know she’s coming to the same conclusion I am. “You snuck out of the house and ran through the night, in a thunderstorm, when people have been trying to kill you. You’ve exhausted all the possible reasons to justify this except one, and a few lies on his part hardly seem enough to warrant how devastated you are.”
“What’s your point?” I remark sullenly, already knowing where this is going.
“Are you sure you don’t like him?” Cora asks bluntly. “Not just you’re attracted to him or like the affection, but that you have genuine feelings for him and you’re upset because you think he might not return your feelings now that he’s back with Lydia?”
Her words slam into me one after the other, but before I can give them the consideration they deserve, there’s a sudden pounding at the door.
