Ella
“What?” I squeak, my voice catching in my throat. The moment the words left Sinclair’s mouth I felt my blood run cold, and now I feel as though I might topple over with the shock of it. I must have misheard him, surely he doesn’ mean what I think he does.
“That night you heard someone growling in your bathroom?” Sinclair explains, stepping forward as though he wants to reach for me, but stopping himself short when I flinch away. “I told you I didn’t smell anything… but I lied. There was someone in your rooms, I just didn’t want to scare you.”
“And you let me go back there, knowing there’d been an intruder?” I demand, indignation swirling to life amidst my fear, surprise and sorrow.
“Sweetheart, I had the guards do a thorough search of the grounds then and there. They were long gone, and I’ve had you sleeping in my rooms ever since. I also increased the guards during the day when I knew you’d be back there.” He shares. “Trust me, I’ve done everything possible to ensure your safety.”
“Except tell me that I was in danger!” I cry. “It’s no wonder you flipped out the way you did when I went to see your father! And you blamed me like I was supposed to know about the threat!”
“Ella –” He begins in a placating tone.
“No!” I cut him off, stomping my foot out of pure wrath. “How am I supposed to know it’s dangerous if you don’t tell me, Dominic?”
I exclaim. “You didn’t even tell me about the rogue attack and that had nothing to do with me! All this time I thought you were being overbearing and overprotective, but I just didn’t have a clue what was happening in my own life!” Too late I realize my earlier desire to leave before I start crying is now a lost cause. Tears are sliding down my cheeks as I continue. “How could you do that! You know what I went through with Mike. I spent years thinking I knew my situation when it was all lies – and you turned around and did the exact same thing!”
Dominic’s usually golden skin goes very pale, “Goddess Ella, I never even thought about it that way.” He admits. “I was just trying to protect you and the pup. I didn’t want you to be afraid.”
“Well all you actually did was make a fool of me.” I inform him stiffly. “And for the record, you also made me more vulnerable to danger. Do you think I would have ever considered sneaking away without guards if I knew someone might actually be after me?! Do you believe I would ever risk my baby that way?”
“Ella, I’m sorry.” Sinclair professes, and I’m amazed to see how earnest he looks. Gone is the bossy Alpha who orders everyone about and lays down the law when they defy him, replaced by a man who has been truly humbled. “I’m truly, truly sorry. I was inconsiderate and patronizing – I assumed I knew what was best and never consulted you… I’ve been a hypocrite, I’ve been going on about being a team but I’ve been acting like a tyrant.” He continues. “You were right, and that’s not the kind of parent I want to be.”
Despite my simmering anger, I’m completely agog. I never expected a man as powerful as Sinclair to admit a mistake – or any fault for that matter. I thoroughly believed that people of his ilk never took responsibility for their actions, because they have the privilege of passing it off onto someone else. Even men without means, like Mike, often can’t admit when they’re wrong. In fact, as a woman, the number of times I’ve heard any man tell me that I’m right in a disagreement is… well, I think this is the first time.
“Can you ever forgive me?” Sinclair is still going, coming forward to brush the hair back from my face, and looking deep into my eyes.
I cross my arms over my chest, tilting my chin up and giving him a haughty sniff to hide my amazement. “As long as you promise never to do it again.”
“I promise that I’ll try to do better.” Sinclair vows, taking hold of my arms. “I’m still an Alpha, and hopefully a King. It’s in my nature to protect at all costs, and those instincts are strongest when it comes to she-wolves and pups. When I think about you in danger my wolf fairly loses his mind, and I really am concerned about this pregnancy. You’re high risk as a human, and the longer your blood pressure stays elevated, the more likely you are to become high risk in shifter terms too.”
His words send a frisson of fear through my nerves. I’ve been trying to tell myself all this worry is his overprotectiveness gone mad, but when he puts it in these terms I realize my baby and I might have a harder road ahead of us than I realized. I hadn’t considered myself high risk simply because I’m a human carrying a shifter pup, but it makes sense. Again I recall the doctor’s warnings about the size of the fetus, the spotting incident and now my persistent stress. I really don’t mind if I suffer, but the idea of my baby being at risk is enough to bowl me over.
“So I can’t say for certain that I’ll never slip up again,” Sinclair forges ahead, massaging my arms with the pads of his thumbs,
“but I promise to always consider your perspective, and consult you whenever I can.”
“Thank you.” I murmur, leaning into his warmth.
He nods and kisses the top of my head, wrapping his strong arms around me. “Do you still want to sleep in your rooms?”
“Would you let me?” I inquire, already testing his resolve.
Sinclair offers me a wolfish grin. “As long as you let me post enough guards at the door.”
I chuckle, and shake my head. “I want to stay with you.”
His muscles untense slightly, and he purrs in contentment. “Good. It’s been a very long night.”
“You can say that again.” I agree, wriggling out of his hold so I can retrieve a night dress from my designated drawer in his dresser.
A little while later we’re curled beneath the plush covers of his king sized bed. Sinclair always sleeps shirtless– not that I’m complaining – so he’s stretched out on his back as I rest my uninjured cheek on his bare pec, immediately soothed by his intoxicating scent. I once asked him why I find smelling him so soothing, and he explained that it’s just the pup. Still I can’t help thinking that I would have loved his scent even if I weren’t ‘breeding’ as he calls it.
“Are you sure you’re alright?” Sinclair asks, tracing his fingers in soothing patterns down my back. “After the attack, I mean.”
I nod, brushing my cheek over the fine hairs of his chest and landing myself with a tickle in my nose. “It was nothing.”
A loud rumble vibrates against my cheek. “Not to me.” Sinclair growls.
My hand has been resting on the hard contours of his abs, and I find myself caressing his soft skin, hoping to soothe him the way he so often soothes me. “Honestly the most shocking part of the whole ordeal was seeing them shift… I’ve never seen anything like it. I still can’t believe it.” In fact that might go a long way to explaining why the entire ordeal still doesn’t quite feel real to me.
“Were you very afraid?” Sinclair presses, taking advantage of my sudden willingness to talk.
“I was more afraid for the baby than anything else.” I confess. “That’s what hurt more than anything, when I thought that my brashness might have cost it, instead of just me.”
A low purr rolls to life in Sinclair’s chest. “Nothing they did or would have done was caused by you, Ella.”
I huff out a laugh. “It seems like there are an awful lot of people telling me things aren’t my fault lately.” I muse aloud. “But at a certain point one has to think the common denominator is common for a reason.”
“Who else?” Sinclair probes. “About what?”
That’s not a conversation I plan on having with Sinclair anytime soon. We might be on better terms, and he might make me feel safe, but I vowed not to make the mistake of trusting another man, and I meant it. Sinclair has already proven himself unreliable on that front. “What does your wolf look like?” I ask, instead of answering his question.
He chuckles, clearly not missing my less-than-smooth transition. “It’s black.” He says simply, “Pitch as the night, with my same colored eyes.”
“Can I see it sometime?” I ask, not quite understanding why I’m so interested in meeting the beast.
“If you like.” He agrees. “But not tonight. Tonight we sleep – and tomorrow we start with a clean slate. Deal?”
For a moment I wonder if such a thing is really possible – part of me thinks it’s too late to stop what’s already begun. Still I have to try, for the sake of my pup if not myself. “Deal.”
