Sinclair
I’m sitting in my office, speaking with my cabinet, when Ella’s delicious scent fills my nose. I’ve been thinking about her on and off all morning, wondering how she took the news of the interview, and hating that I hadn’t been able to tell her about it in person. Normally I wouldn’t do such a thing, but I’d needed to check in with my guards about their investigation into the intruder, and she’d been sleeping so sweetly that I couldn’t bear to wake her.
I can sense how close she is now, and wonder if something went wrong. I’m already on my feet when I hear my assistant encouraging her to stay, “No, he’ll want to see you, just wait one moment.”
“I’m sorry, it’s really not urgent,” Ella is protesting. “I should have known he’d be busy.”
She’s retreating, her delicate footsteps receding, and I push through the door before she can get away. “And just where do you think you’re going?”
Ella freezes in place, her little body winding tight as a spring. When she turns, she’s staring at the floor, “I’m sorry.” She says again, “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
I glance at the wolves over my shoulder, “Leave us.”
Ella gnaws on her plump lower lip as my cabinet members file past her out of the office, shifting restlessly on her feet. I can tell something is bothering her, but I also can’t help but think how lovely she looks in the cream-colored dress hugging her curves. “Come here, little one.” I command, not moving from the doorway.
This gets her attention, and indignation flashes in her golden eyes as her gaze snaps to mine. I can tell she wants to disobey, but I arch my brow in challenge and she slowly crosses the distance between us. I drag my knuckles over the high plane of her cheekbone when she’s finally in front of me, enjoying the way her defiance becomes muddled with uncertainty once more. “How did the interview go?”
“Good – I think.” She qualifies, unconsciously leaning her cheek into my hand. My wolf perks up at her obvious response to my touch, and I beckon her inside.
“Can I get you anything, have you eaten lunch?” I question, thinking of the pup.
“My stomach has been too unsettled.” Ella admits, looking guilty.
I press my hand to her flat belly, feeling the pup’s heartbeat and prodding the mental link. The babe seems perfectly content, but it worries me that Ella hasn’t eaten. “We can order in some lunch.” I suggest, resisting the urge to continue touching her.
“Sin–Dominic, I need to talk to you.” She answers, ignoring the offer and just barely remembering to call me by my given name.
“Sure, what’s going on?” I inquire, taking a seat behind my desk.
Ella’s hands are fidgeting, and she’s staring at the anxious movement rather than meeting my gaze. “I think… I think I’m having second thoughts.”
This gets my attention loud and clear. “How so?”
“What we’re doing… it’s wrong.” Ella chokes out, positively trembling. “It’s fraud. I… I don’t know if I can take the pressure.” Her cheeks are flushing with color and she sounds as though she might cry. “I know I said I could do it, but I’m not sure I can pretend to be someone I’m not for the rest of my life… but I don’t want to lose the baby.” Now she really is crying, and I’m on my feet in an instant. Ella turns her back on me, shoulders shaking, as if she doesn’t want me to see how upset she is. “I don’t want to fail you, I can’t lose the baby. I just don’t know what to do.”
I approach behind her, my heart aching for the poor little human. I should have foreseen this problem. Ella is honest and good-hearted, of course a life of deceit would bother her. I suppose when we made the agreement I didn’t realize how much integrity she has, but I know now. Ella flinches when I take her shoulders in my hands, and I have to forcibly turn her body to face me again. “Come here,” I say again, but this time it’s not an order. It’s an invitation, one I have to force Ella to accept by pulling her into my arms.
As soon as I envelop her in my embrace, she cracks, emitting a heartbroken sob and wrapping her slender arms around my middle. She must be clinging to me with all her might, but it feels about as powerful as a child’s grip compared to my shifter strength. “I’m sorry.” I profess, kissing her hair. “I should have realized how much this scheme was asking of you.”
“I can still do it!” She insists defiantly, clearly beside herself with the competing needs to prove herself, keep her baby, and do the right thing.
Doubts swirl in my own mind. Can this really work? What will we do after the baby comes, and she no longer has its smell? What happens if someone connects her to Ella Reina, orphaned human and disgraced nanny? Am I really willing to put her through all this? She doesn’t even know about the true dangers she faces, and already the stress is becoming too much. Is asking her to pose as my Luna hurting the pup? What will it think when it gets old enough to understand our relationship is a sham? What would happen if the pack found out the truth?
Even as all the potential calamities fill my head, my wolf surges to the forefront, insisting that we have to find a way to make it work. Ella has already proven to be my biggest asset in this campaign – not only is she giving me an heir, but she charms everyone she meets. I need her if I’m going to win. More importantly, my wolf won’t abide the thought of letting her go. I try to tell him dissolving our agreement doesn’t mean letting her go, but he’s absolutely determined.
“Come on, let’s talk about this.” I suggest. Moving to the couch. “What worries you the most about our plan?”
“I don’t want to hurt anyone.” Ella whispers, tears clinging to her dark lashes. “I don’t want to trick honest, hardworking shifters. I don’t want my life to be a lie.”
“How long have you been feeling this way?” I press.
“I guess a little bit from the beginning.” She confesses, “but it really hit me today during the interview. I just thought about doing this for the rest of my life and it just felt so overwhelming.”
I nod, pulling her between my legs and petting her sides. “The first, and most important thing I need you to understand is that shifter society doesn’t work like human society does. We are a ruthless species, and we do whatever is necessary to ensure the safety of our packs.” I explain. “I know it feels like a giant fraud, but you have to remember that my campaign is the only thing standing between a lot of innocent people and a tyrant. If the Prince takes the throne, he will wipe out the Alpha council and all his political competition in order to stay in power forever. He will oppress and terrorize millions of people.”
“If he’s that bad, why hasn’t he already staged a coup?” Ella inquires, a few notable degrees calmer as my words sink in.
“Because he doesn’t have the power yet.” I clarify, “He doesn’t have an army – yet. His father is bad, but he’s old fashioned enough to respect our political system. The Prince on the other hand…” I trail off.
“So basically you’re saying that lying is the lesser evil.” Ella summarizes.
“Honesty is an incredibly admirable trait.” I relate gently, “but it’s also a luxury that shifters can’t afford right now. I know it feels wrong, but when your enemies are as abominable as the Prince, you have to bend the rules to survive.”
“Like wartime spies?” Ella suggests morosely.
“A little.” I crack a smile.
She nods, thinking so deeply that her brow furrows, and I have to resist the urge to smooth out the adorable wrinkles with my fingers. “I want a safe life for my baby. If the Prince wins the election… would he…?” She trails off, unable to utter the horrible words.
“It’s highly likely” I confirm, I have no doubt the prince would try to kill my heir – he probably has already.
Ella frowns, “Then I’ll do whatever it takes to help you win.” She seems much more relaxed now, but I can still sense her lingering nerves.
“Would you feel better if you could spend more time with shifters, get to know our ways better?” I ask, suspecting that at least some of her unease is due to the fact that she’s afraid she’ll fail.
Ella nods, and I give her a squeeze. “Okay, then you and I are going to start going out more, so you can get to know my world and my people.”
“I think that would help.” Ella admits. “I’m sorry I lost it that way, I don’t know if it’s the hormones or the stress, or what! I just started spiraling and I couldn’t stop.”
“Hey,” I interrupt, “It’s okay. I want you to tell me when you lose it, I want you to talk to me when you have worries or doubts, okay?”
“Okay.” She nods, giving me a shy smile.
“Now let’s get some food into you, and tonight – we’ll go out.”
I don’t say what I’m thinking, what my wolf so desperately wants to add to that sentence. I know it’s too soon, and Ella is still too skittish of me. Still, it feels too exciting to deny. Tonight we’re going out together – On our first real date.
