Chapter 153 – Late Night Comfort
Ella
“Won’t you come to bed?” I inquire, leaning over Sinclair’s back and wrapping my arms around his neck. ‘You need to rest.”
My mate is sitting at his computer drafting emails and marching orders, secret correspondences to his allies and spies across the continent. He’s been trying to figure out some way to get a message to the people of the united packs, to let them know we’re alive and will not forsake them. So far the best plan we’ve come up with are for willing rebels to post bulletins and spray paint messages throughout the various cities, as well as antiauthoritarian propaganda. No one likes the idea of civilians endangering themselves in order to get the word out, but we don’t have much choice. This is a whole new world we’re living in.
“In a while.” Sinclair murmurs, rubbing his scruffy jaw against my cheek before turning to kiss me. My wolf is reaching out to his, trying to get a sense of his emotions, but she just keeps coming up against a brick wall.” You go get some sleep, baby.” “But I want to sleep with you.” I complain, not even caring that I’m whining. I know I can’t help Sinclair unless he lets me, and I’ll stoop to any low in order to convince him.
“I know, trouble. I’ll be there soon.” He replies, kissing me again. “I just want to finish a few things up first.”
I begrudgingly agree, and slink off towards the sumptuous bed – my new nest – and climb inside. It doesn’t feel right without my mate, and I realize that I associate Sinclair with safety the same way he does with me. Our wolves don’t feel content unless they’re together. I decide to try to call him to me in a dream, wondering if this will make him fall asleep. Instead I fall into a fitful spell of dreams searching for my mate, only to be let down when I cannot find him time after time.
Eventually I wake again, and as I blink my eyes open and reach for Sinclair, I realize I’m still alone in bed. I glance at the clock, seeing that it’s almost three in the morning – four hours since I went to bed. I climb out of my nest and groggily stumble towards the door.
As soon as it opens I hear the distant buzz of a video, though I’m not sure what’s happening in the feed. It sounds like scenes from a war zone, and I follow the sound with growing worry.
Sinclair is sitting on the couch with his laptop on the table before him, his attention focused entirely on the screen. I follow his gaze and see a very grainy video playing, of the Royal Army pouring through the streets of Moon Valley, forcing people out of their homes for interrogations and tests of allegiance to the former Prince… now Emperor. It doesn’t look like high quality news footage, and I slowly understand that this video has been taken in secret. “What’s going on?” I murmur, rubbing my eyes.
“He’s shut down all the media outlets.” Sinclair responds, reaching out for me. I happily go to him, pouring myself into his lap and snuggling in. “He’s setting up his own state run news agency to spread his propaganda, and the people are risking their lives to get the word out.” As we watch, the shifter taking the video gets the attention of one of the soldiers, who storms over demanding to see what they’re filming. The soldier raises his fist and then the video turns to black and white static.
My stomach pitches and rolls as I realize the implications of this development. My wolf howls with the knowledge that these are members of our own pack, suffering terrible abuses and without anyone to protect them. I can only imagine how much worse this feels for my mate, even though he’s shielding me from actually feeling it.
“Please don’t shut me out, Dominic.” I beg, peering up at his stony face. “I know you’re hurting and I want to help. Don’t push me away.”
Sinclair purrs, dragging his lips over my brow. “I know you want to help, sweetheart. The problem is that there isn’t anything to be done. This isn’t going to get better until I find a way to make things right, and I’m afraid that won’t happen for some time.” “You can still talk to me, let me support you.” I encourage. “I’m your mate, that’s the way it’s supposed to be.”
Sinclair shakes his head with a low groan.”You’ve got enough to deal with, without me dumping my problems onto you as well.” “But your problems are my problems.” I argue. “We’re in this together.” ‘Trust me, Ella, I’m well aware of that.” I’m surprised by how harsh his tone becomes, even though it isn’t directed at me.
“What do you mean?” I inquire anxiously, not liking the dark note in his voice.
“I mean the only reason that you’re in this situation in the first place is my fault.” Sinclair growls. “If you’d never met me you could have had a normal life. A safe life.” “Dominic, if I’d never met you I would be back there.” I inform him sternly, pointing at the computer screen.
“I would be bankrupt, heartbroken, thinking I was barren, with a trapped wolf and nothing but an abusive employer and deadbeat ex-boyfriend – and that would have been before all this chaos happened. There’s no telling what might have happened if you hadn’t gotten me out.”
Sinclair winces, “you also wouldn’t have been kidnapped, blackmailed, attacked by rogues, or been forced to flee the only home you’ve ever known.” He counters severely, his jaw clenched with self-fury. “You wouldn’t have been in the position of having to choose between your life and our baby’s.”
I can’t stand the way he’s blaming himself for the Prince’s crimes. “Listen to me.” I demand sitting up and refusing to continue until he looks me in the eye. Because of you I am safe and loved, I’m about to fulfill my lifelong dream of becoming a mother.
You freed my wolf – opened my eyes to my true nature, gave me insights into my own past which I never knew existed before.” I insist. “And I’ll tell you something else. You didn’t trick me into walking away from my old life. Your wolf, as irresistible as he is, didn’t lure me away with promises of sunshine and rainbows. I convinced you to take me on, do you remember that? I started all this.”
“And you had no idea what you were getting into.” Sinclair replies coolly, echoing a sentiment he’s made a few times before. “But I did. I was so determined to win the election that I took advantage of a desperate, innocent woman.”
These words make me so angry that I wrench myself out of his lap and stand in front of him with my hands on my hips. “Shut up.” I hiss angrily, surprising my mate with the force of the words.
He arches an ominous brow at me, “You might not like hearing it but “I said: Shut. Up.” I repeat fiercely, ignoring the flash of his wolf in his eyes.” I am not going to let you twist our past because you’re feeling guilty about the coup. You weren’t some ne’erdowell who saw a damsel in distress and pounced at the opportunity to take advantage. I am not your victim, and do you know how I know that? Because I have been a victim before, I know what that feels like and it isn’t this.” I state, my voice strong and sharp.
“I went into this with my eyes wide open and maybe I didn’t know all the implications, but you protected me every step of the way.” I remind him.” You loved me and cared for me from day one, and if I’d known then what I do now, I would gladly do it all over again.
I don’t want Damon in power any more than you do and I would gladly sacrifice myself if it means protecting the millions he’ll abuse in his reign.” Sinclair’s eyes glow as he looks up at me, an unreadable emotion in his eyes. “Are you finished?”
I cross my arms over my chest, ‘That depends, are you going to keep being an unreasonable, block-headed, patronizing Before I can finish my list of choice words, Sinclair leans forward and presses his shoulder into my hips, gently tossing my over his shoulder. I squeak as he carts me off to the bedroom, slamming the laptop shut along the way.
The next thing I know I’m on my back in my nest, with my powerful mate looming above me. “You will not be sacrificing yourself for anyone.” Sinclair rumbles, his voice gruff and gravelly. “Not for me, not your guards, not the whole kingdom.” ‘That doesn’t make sense, Dominic.” I roll my eyes, “I’m not more important than all our people combined.”
“When you were kidnapped and you gave yourself up for your guards, I told you that I was going to make sure you never did anything so reckless again,” He pauses, letting the memory sink in. “but I let you off the hook because of everything we went through afterwards… but maybe that was a mistake.”
He muses, hunger blazing to life in his eyes, the vibrations of his Alpha power sending shivers through my prone body. “From the sounds of it, you haven’t learned your lesson yet, mate.”
