Ella
My eyes jerk open, and I surge up in bed.
A moment ago Sinclair was buried inside me – in more ways than one. My hand frantically clamps down on the spot where my neck meets my shoulder. I can still feel Sinclair’s fangs slicing into my flesh, but there doesn’t seem to be a wound in reality.
I’m not bleeding, and it doesn’t hurt – though it hadn’t hurt in the dream either. All of a sudden I’m remembering Sinclair’s ominous words about how a mating mark wouldn’t hurt if it was timed right, and now I understand all too well.
I’m still on an emotional high from the dream, I can’t believe I became a wolf! It had been the most incredible feeling, unlike anything I could have imagined. And then there was Sinclair. My body is flushed with heat, and my heart is still pounding.
It felt so real, and I’m so glad that we stole that moment. At the same time, I wonder if the sex was only so good because it was a fantasy? It had to be, there’s no way anyone could actually be that amazing in real life… right?
The more I think about it, reliving every touch, every word we spoke, I quickly find myself crashing back down to earth. I’m so grateful and ecstatic that it happened, but I’m very quickly feeling depressed that it’s over. Before those feelings can truly take hold, however, I hear pounding footsteps. In the blink of an eye Sinclair is there, standing in the doorway and raking his eyes over me in concern.
“Ella” my name is a relieved sigh on his lips. I realize that he must have fallen asleep in his study, rather than coming to bed – but he’s here now. He crosses the floor quickly, reaching for me as soon as he’s close enough. “Are you alright? You disappeared from the dream so quickly!”
I nod weakly, my face framed in his hands. I’m still feeling sad that our stolen night has come to an end, but I don’t want Sinclair to know just how pitiful I’m feeling. “I don’t know what happened, one moment we were…” I trail off, flushing, “and the next I was here.”
“Goddess, I can’t believe this. Come here” Sinclair settles on the bed, pulling me into his lap. He presses a lingering kiss to my upturned mouth, then rests his forehead against mine, gazing lovingly into my eyes. “My poor little mate, you didn’t even get a chance to come back down to earth.”
Pain blooms in my chest to hear him calling me his mate, but I snuggle in, eager to steal a few extra moments of affection. “Well maybe if you hadn’t ravished me so completely I wouldn’t need so much recovery time.”
“Surely you aren’t complaining about too much pleasure?” Sinclair teases, kissing me again. “If you weren’t such an insatiable little thing then I wouldn’t have had to work so hard to satisfy you.”
I start to laugh at his ridiculous statement, but just as quickly, it verges on a sob.
“Don’t.” I plead, “I’m already struggling to cope with the fact that it’s over.”
“Over?” Sinclair repeats. “What are you talking about?” He pulls back far enough to stare down at me in disbelief. “Stars, Ella don’t you realize what this means?”
“It doesn’t mean anything.” I argue. “It was just a dream, that was the point. A way for
us to get closure without complicating things in the real world.”
“Ella, you shifted, you became a wolf! That wouldn’t have been possible if you were
truly a human.” He reasons, as if it should be obvious. “But I am a human.” I remind him, feeling increasingly frustrated.
To my utter shock, Sinclair’s face lights up like a firework. He’s grinning down at me so widely it’s difficult not to return the expression, “No baby, I don’t think you are. I was
too caught up in claiming you in the dream, but now that my wolf is satisfied I can think a bit more clearly. Don’t you see – this would explain everything: the reason I was so interested in you before you even became pregnant; the fact that you were able to conceive my child; how obstinate my wolf has been about claiming you; your
smell; how wolfish your behavior is.” He continues excitedly. “I’ve been attributing everything to the baby because I didn’t have any other explanation, but now it finally
makes sense.”
“What makes sense?” I exclaim, not following his logic at all. It seems like he’s operating with far more information than I possess myself. “And what do you mean you were interested in me before, and that your wolf wanted to claim me?”
Sinclair chuckles, and I have to fight the urge to growl at him. “I’m sorry sweetheart, I forgot you didn’t know. Yes, I always noticed you- it was annoyingly distracting every time I caught sight of you in the neighborhood. Every time I did, I’d end up thinking about you for hours afterwards, and I even started hoping I would run into you and the kids. I never did anything about it because I thought you were human.”
“Then why the hell were you such a jerk to me about Cora, and when we found out I was pregnant?” I demand grumpily.
Sinclair exhales heavily. “I was in a bad place. I’m not proud of the way I acted, and I know there’s no excuse for it. I can only say that I was an idiot. But my wolf is the
reason I agreed to your plans in the first place, that’s what I meant when I said I’ve been holding him back. He wanted you for his own long before I was willing to acknowledge my feelings for you.”
“I still can’t believe you love me.”I whisper, feeling shy now. I told myself those sentiments would stay in the dream, but there’s a very silly, insecure part of me that needs to hear it again. As if I’m afraid the dream was just my imagination, even though I know it wasn’t.
Sinclair’s expression softens, his eye crinkling at the edges. “How could I not?” He
croons, making me melt. “You’re everything I could hope for in amate, Ella.” I’m thrilled
to hear these words, but I’m also confused. I know I’m being very slow on the uptake,
and it’s hard not to feel stupid, but I simply don’t understand what he’s on about. I
would know if I wasn’t human, wouldn’t I? Seeing my expression, some of the elation
fades from Sinclair’s features. “I should have looked into this ages ago. but I suppose
hindsight is 20/20. In very rare cases, it’s possible for wolves to be hidden, buried so
that a person doesn’t even know it’s there.”
“How?” I press eagerly, seeming to need this answer as badly as I need to breathe.
Sinclair removes one of his hands from my body in order to rub the back of his neck,
and I find myself glaring at the movement, affronted that he took away the comfort of
his touch. Sinclair catches the look on my face and arches a foreboding brow, forcing
me to soften and avert my gaze. It feels the way it had when I showed him my belly in
the dream, and I understand that something inside me is instinctively responding to
his dominance.
Only once I’ve submit, does he continue. “The strange thing about all this is that
normally when a wolf is dormant, it’s manifested in children who were separated from
both their family and the pack. They grow up thinking they’re human, but when they
reach puberty and go through their first shift, their wolf drives them to find their own
kind.” He grimaces. “We call it dormant, but really it’s just when a child is too
disconnected to know why they’re different. When they eventually figure it out a young
teenager shows up at a pack’s doorstep – confused and traumatized to be sure, but
finally understanding why they’ve always been an outsider among humans. I’ve never
heard of a case where someone reached adulthood without their wolf manifesting.”
“But you think that’s what’s happened to me?” I clarify, needing to hear him say it.
“You think I’m a wolf, and somehow that part of me just hasn’t been able to come
out?”
“Yes, trouble.” Sinclair beams, all the confusion and mystery forgotten for a moment.
When he looks at me this way I feel like I’m the center of his entire universe, and ‘Il be
damned if it isn’t addictive. “I don’t know how or why yet, but it’s fairly clear to me that
you’re the one I’ve been waiting for all along. The Goddess sent you to carry this pup
because you’re my second chance mate.”
His hand moves to my belly, and Rafe kicks in reply. “You can be my Luna. We can
finally be together – and not only in our dreams.”
“Really?” I squeak, not wanting to believe my ears, just in case they’re wrong.
“Really.” He confirms. “We’re going to figure out how this happened, and then we’re
going to wake your wolf for real.”
